Confidence pour confidence: When Jean Schultheis Describes a Narcissistic Pervert

Listen to "Confidence pour confidence" on Spotify

In 1981, Jean Schultheis released "Confidence pour confidence." The song climbed to third place on the French Hit Parade. People danced to it, hummed it, played it at parties. Forty-five years later, the lyrics of this song constitute one of the most precise portraits of a narcissistic pervert ever set to music.

A Text That Shocked -- Rightfully So

Unlike most 1980s hits, "Confidence pour confidence" sparked controversy from the moment it was released. Some associations strongly criticized the lyrics. Schultheis always maintained that he was playing a rôle -- that he was embodying a character, not his own personality.

This is precisely what makes the exercise fascinating from a psychological standpoint: Schultheis created a character so realistic that listeners confused him with the author. Just as in therapy, when loved ones can't believe that the charming partner is a manipulator -- the rôle is too well played.

Objectification: The Woman as an Object of Satisfaction

The Academy of Song describes the text as that of a man who "considers his mistress as nothing more than an object for his satisfaction." This is the very définition of reification in psychology -- the act of treating a person as a thing.

The narcissistic pervert does not see the other person as a subject with their own needs, emotions, and history. They see them as an instrument:

• An instrument of pleasure


• An instrument of narcissistic validation


• An instrument of control

In the song, the narrator describes his relationship with the woman with chilling detachment. There is no love -- there is consumption. The difference between the two is the heart of the narcissistic problem.

The Obsessive Construction: Three Notes, Three Beats

The music itself is revealing. Schultheis built the piece on three obsessive notes that loop endlessly. This construction is not insignificant:

• Compulsive repetition reflects the narcissist's mental functioning: circular thinking centered on themselves
• The hypnotic rhythm evokes the effect of stupefaction that the manipulator produces on their victim
• The musical spiral mimics the spiral of psychological hold: you go around, you come back, you never get out

The narcissist lives in a looping world where everything comes back to them. Schultheis's music captures this mental prison with a precision that words alone could not achieve.

Anadiplosis: Rhetorical Manipulation in Action

The literary structure of the text uses a figure of speech called anadiplosis: each verse picks up the last word or syllable of the previous one. This is not merely a stylistic exercise -- it is a mirror of the narcissistic manipulation technique.

The narcissistic pervert does exactly this in conversation:

• They take your own words and turn them against you


• They chain arguments in a loop until you lose track


• They create circular logic where everything comes back to their version of events

This rhetorical construction -- where each sentence hooks onto the previous one in an unbroken chain -- reproduces the manipulator's speech flow: impossible to interrupt, impossible to contradict, impossible to escape.

Émotional Insensitivity

The "dryness" of the text, noted by literary critics, is a major psychological marker. The narrator speaks of his intimate relationship with the same tone he would use to describe an everyday object. This emotional flatness is characteristic of the narcissist:

• They can describe an intimate moment without any émotion
• They can talk about their partner without naming them (she is merely a function)
• They can recount a betrayal with the same casualness as an anecdote

Psychologists call this empathic deficit -- not the total absence of emotions, but the inability to experience the other person's emotions as real and important.

The Character vs. the Person: Why This Confusion?

Schultheis always insisted: it's a rôle. But the public took it at face value. Why?

Because real narcissists speak exactly like this in private. Victims who hear this song don't think "it's a fictional character" -- they think "that's exactly what my partner says to me."

This confusion between rôle and reality is at the heart of the narcissistic problem:

• The narcissist plays a rôle in public (the charmer)


• They are themselves in private (the predator)


• Those around them only see the rôle


• The victim lives with the reality

Schultheis managed, probably unintentionally, to show what victims experience behind closed doors.

How This Song Resonates in Clinical Practice

In therapy, it happens that victims of narcissistic perverts spontaneously cite songs to describe their experience. "Confidence pour confidence" comes up regularly, with testimonies such as:

• "That's exactly his tone when he talks about us -- cold, detached, as if I didn't exist"
• "He would tell me about his affairs with the same detachment as that guy in the song"
• "When I actually read the lyrics carefully, I was shocked -- it was him"

Music can be a trigger for awareness. A song heard a thousand times can suddenly take on new meaning when you begin to understand the mechanisms of psychological hold.

The Difference from "Le geant de papier"

These two 1980s hits offer two complementary portraits:

| | "Le geant de papier" | "Confidence pour confidence" |
|---|---|---|
| Point of view | The vulnerable man | The predatory man |
| Émotion | Fragility, fear | Coldness, detachment |
| Relationship to woman | Idealization | Objectification |
| Narcissistic mechanism | The false self, the facade | Insensitivity, reification |
| What the victim sees | The giant (idealization phase) | The paper (devaluation phase) |

Together, these two songs draw the complete cycle of the narcissistic pervert: first the impressive giant (Lafon), then the cold manipulator who reduces you to an object (Schultheis).

Conclusion: Pop Culture as a Mirror of Psychological Hold

"Confidence pour confidence" is not a song about love. It is a song about power -- the power of a man over a woman reduced to a function. Schultheis had the courage (or recklessness) to set to music what victims of narcissistic perverts experience daily.

The fact that this song is a catchy, joyful hit, hummed by millions of people, is itself revealing: narcissistic manipulation is often invisible, even when exposed in plain sight.

If the lyrics of this song remind you of someone, it's no coincidence. Analyzing your conversations can objectively reveal patterns of objectification and manipulation in your exchanges -- because sometimes, you need to see the written words to understand what you've been hearing for too long.

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Gildas Garrec, CBT psychotherapist in Nantes -- Psychologie et Serenite

Sources:

• Academie de la Chanson -- Analysis "Confidence pour confidence"


• Bide et Musique -- Song page

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