Hello Emma,
Overall result
Signs to monitorElements of trauma bond appear occasionally. The awareness work has begun — that's an important step.
Your profile at a glance
Detailed analysis
This tendency is present in you — here is what it sheds light on.
You notice some alternations (tension then tenderness) that raise questions. Vigilance is useful, especially if frequency increases.
Your answers for violence-reconciliation cycle reveal moderate signals. Without dramatizing, these elements deserve to be observed over time: a moderate dimension that settles in can become more pervasive through accumulation. The moderate level, in a situation, is often the moment when one hesitates — "am I overreacting? am I imagining things?": this doubt is normal, and it takes nothing away from the legitimacy of what you feel. If you wish, taking brief notes about the moments when this dimension is more present can help understand the triggers and spot any patterns. This tracking can also be useful if you decide to talk to a professional or someone you trust: concrete, dated elements are easier to share than a diffuse impression.
Recommendations
- ✓Keep a dated journal of behaviors that worry you (useful objective evidence).
- ✓Talk to a trusted person OUTSIDE the relationship.
- ✓Identify your non-negotiables before they are crossed.
This tendency is clear in you — here is what it reveals, to understand and move forward.
The inability to leave is strong. This is a typical sign of trauma bonding: fear of separation rivals the suffering of staying.
Your answers for inability to leave despite awareness highlight significant signals. Your feelings are legitimate: these answers describe a situation you are currently going through, not a trait that would define you. This is an important distinction: a situation changes when the context changes or when you act on it, whereas a trait would give the impression of being "just how you are" with no way out. You are not the problem; you are facing a situation that is. At this level, it can become difficult to keep a clear view of the situation from within; the outside perspective of a trusted person, a professional, or a helpline can help gain perspective. If several dimensions are simultaneously elevated, this reinforces the need for external support — it is not a failure, it is a normal logic of the situation.
Recommendations
- ✓Consult a therapist specialized in relational violence or trauma (CBT, EMDR, Young schemas).
- ✓Build a safety plan (papers, money, contacts) without sharing it with your partner.
- ✓Reach a domestic violence helpline in your country — find one at findahelpline.com.
This tendency is present in you — here is what it sheds light on.
You perceive attachment to unpredictable moments. It's an early signal of an intermittent reinforcement mechanism.
On intermittent reinforcement, this level calls for the same reading as detailed above for another dimension of the same intensity (see the analysis above).
Recommendations
- ✓Keep a dated journal of behaviors that worry you (useful objective evidence).
- ✓Talk to a trusted person OUTSIDE the relationship.
- ✓Identify your non-negotiables before they are crossed.
This tendency is clear in you — here is what it reveals, to understand and move forward.
The awareness-action gap is significant. Progressive isolation and self-doubt maintain the inability to act.
On awareness-action gap, this level calls for the same reading as detailed above for another dimension of the same intensity (see the analysis above).
Recommendations
- ✓Consult a therapist specialized in relational violence or trauma (CBT, EMDR, Young schemas).
- ✓Build a safety plan (papers, money, contacts) without sharing it with your partner.
- ✓Reach a domestic violence helpline in your country — find one at findahelpline.com.
Profile synthesis
On the terrain of connection with others, what follows describes relational dynamics — ways of relating that can evolve, not verdicts. Your answers reveal some moderate signals. Without dramatizing, these elements can be observed and discussed with a trusted person. A moderate situation is not a trivial one: it describes very real difficulties, simply not yet overwhelming. It is often at this stage that it is easiest to act, before things settle in for good. Briefly noting the moments when the situation weighs more — when, with whom, in what context — helps you see clearly and makes the conversation easier, whether with a loved one or a professional.
How your dimensions interact
Your answers reveal several converging signals (Inability to leave despite awareness, Awareness-action gap). This cluster of elements is not a matter of chance: it describes, from several angles at once, the situation you are going through, and it is this convergence that gives it meaning. Seen from the inside, it is often difficult to connect these signals or to gauge their real weight. An outside perspective — a trusted person, a professional, a helpline — can help analyze them, distinguish what depends on you from what depends on the situation, and identify concrete footholds. Putting words on these elements is already a first step toward regaining a grip.
Your action plan
Right now
- →If you are in immediate danger, contact your local emergency services.
- →Inability to leave despite awareness — Consult a therapist specialized in relational violence or trauma (CBT, EMDR, Young schemas).
- →Inability to leave despite awareness — Build a safety plan (papers, money, contacts) without sharing it with your partner.
- →Awareness-action gap — Consult a therapist specialized in relational violence or trauma (CBT, EMDR, Young schemas).
- →Awareness-action gap — Build a safety plan (papers, money, contacts) without sharing it with your partner.
In the coming weeks
- →Keep a dated journal of behaviors that worry you (useful objective evidence).
In the long run
- →Retake this questionnaire in 3 to 6 months to observe the evolution of the situation. If scores increase, it is a signal to discuss with a professional.
- →Identify a resource person (trusted loved one, professional, helpline) with whom to talk about this situation safely, even if you are not ready to say everything.
- →Set up a minimum safety plan (safe place, emergency contacts, important documents accessible) if the situation requires — it is preparation, not a decision.
Resources & exercise
7-day observation journal
Each day, spot one situation where “Inability to leave despite awareness” showed up. Note the automatic thought, the emotion (0–100) and what you did. Then write one more balanced, alternative reading. After 7 days, re-read your notes: the recurring patterns become visible — the first step to change them.
Support resources
If you are struggling, you are not alone. United States: call or text 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, 24/7). Elsewhere: find your local line at findahelpline.com. This report supports self-knowledge and does not replace a consultation with a psychologist or doctor.
Your answers in detail
1. My partner alternates between intense tenderness and coldness or anger.
Answer : Disagree
You answered "Disagree". Can you tell me more about when this comes up for you?
It mainly shows up in situations that matter to me, when I feel under pressure or emotionally involved.
2. After a violent dispute (verbal or physical), they become particularly kind.
Answer : Disagree
And how long have you noticed this?
It has been more present over the past few months, though I recognise it from before too.
3. Calm periods make me hope that everything will change.
Answer : Disagree
4. I live in fear of the next crisis.
Answer : Disagree
5. Difficult episodes are followed by intense declarations of love or gifts.
Answer : Disagree
6. My loved ones worry about the way my partner speaks to me or treats me.
Answer : Disagree
7. …
The next questions (7, 8…) continue in your test. This sample only shows the beginning — the full test has 60 questions, and every answer refines your report.
What now?
You've just seen what your answers reveal. Your Full Assessment goes further: a personalized, step-by-step path to turn this understanding into concrete change — at your own pace.
Get YOUR Trauma Bond Test — Why You Can't Leave report
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