School Bullying: Spotting the Signs When a Child Is a Victim
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School bullying affects around 10% of pupils at some point in their school career. It is defined as the repetition of aggressive acts — physical, verbal or relational — directed at the same person, within an unbalanced power relationship. Its distinctive feature: it is often invisible to adults, and victims rarely speak up of their own accord.
Recognising the indirect signals is therefore essential if we are to step in on time.
The forms school bullying takes
Physical bullying
Hitting, shoving, stealing belongings, damaging property. This is the most visible form, but not necessarily the most common.
Verbal bullying
Repeated mockery, insults, humiliating nicknames. It is particularly painful when it targets a physical characteristic, a first name, an ethnic background.
Relational bullying
Deliberate exclusion from the group, manipulation of friendships, rumours, freezing out. This form, often practised by girls, is harder to pin down and is frequently played down by adults.
Cyberbullying
Bullying extended online — humiliating messages, videos shared without consent, exclusion from group chats. It enters the home and deprives the victim of any refuge.
Warning signs in a child
A child who is being bullied often shows indirect signals:
- Refusing to go to school with no clear medical reason
- Coming home stressed, with damaged belongings
- Loss of appetite, sleep problems, stomach aches in the morning
- An abrupt change in behaviour (irritability, withdrawal, aggression)
- Dropping former friends, social isolation
- An unexplained drop in school results
How to respond
Believe the child without minimising ("children squabble, it's normal"), avoid advising them to "stand up for themselves" alone, contact the school describing specific incidents, and arrange follow-up with the school health service or a mental health professional if the distress is significant — these are all steps that can make the difference.
If your child is in immediate danger or expressing suicidal thoughts, contact your local emergency services, or find a helpline in your country at findahelpline.com.
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