
Anxious Attachment: Understanding, Loving, and Breaking Free
The Psychology of Those Who Need Reassurance in Love — and How to Break Free
By Gildas Garrec · 123 pages · 2026
Available format
About this book
Guide TCC complet pour comprendre l'attachement anxieux : pourquoi la peur de l'abandon pousse à la vérification compulsive, à l'interprétation catastrophiste du silence et au besoin de réassurance répétée. La danse anxieux-évitant vue du côté de l'anxieux, un protocole TCC en 8 semaines pour restructurer l'hyperactivation du système d'attachement, un guide pour le partenaire, et le chemin vers l'attachement sécure acquis (earned secure).
Do you check your phone constantly, read catastrophe into a two-hour silence, or need to hear "I love you" again within hours of the last time? This clinical guide decodes anxious attachment — the hyperactivation of the attachment system that drives compulsive reassurance-seeking, testing behaviours, and a fear of abandonment that can overwhelm even a genuinely secure relationship. Written by a psychopractitioner specializing in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), it traces the childhood origins of anxious attachment, the specific experience of anxious men and anxious women, the anxious-avoidant trap seen from the anxious partner's side, and twelve concrete signs to recognize the pattern in yourself. An eight-week CBT protocol structures the second half of the book — restructuring catastrophic interpretations, building a self-soothing repertoire, learning to state needs directly instead of testing — alongside a dedicated survival guide for partners and a chapter on couples therapy. The path described leads toward earned secure attachment: not the disappearance of the capacity to attach intensely, but its regulation, so that loving deeply no longer means living in permanent fear of losing what you love.
Table of contents
- 1Tell Me You Love Me Again
- 2Legal Notice
- 3Crisis resources
- 4About the Author
- 5Table of Contents
- 6Introduction -- Why This Book, Why Now
- 7Chapter 1 -- The Third Message: Portrait of the Anxious
- 8Chapter 2 -- How Attachment Anxiety Is Built in Childhood
- 9Chapter 3 -- The Anxious Man: When Male Vulnerability Is Unsettling
- 10Chapter 4 -- The Anxious Woman: Between Hypersensitivity and Relational Clarity
- 11Chapter 5 -- The Anxious-Avoidant Trap: The Infernal Dance, Seen From the Other Side
- 12Chapter 6 -- The 12 Signs That You Have Anxious Attachment
- 13Chapter 7 -- What the Anxious Person Experiences (and Never Dares to Say)
- 14Chapter 8 -- When the Anxious Person Finds Security (and How It Goes)
- 15Chapter 9 -- CBT Protocol for the Anxious: 8 Weeks of Restructuring
- 16Chapter 10 -- Survival Guide for the Anxious Person's Partner
- 17Chapter 11 -- Couples Therapy in the Face of Attachment Anxiety
- 18Chapter 12 -- Toward Secure Attachment: The Path Is Possible
- 19Bibliography
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