Is My Child Too Shy? — Parenting Self-Test

This test covers withdrawal, isolation, speaking up, speaking your mind, dialogue, what others think, judgment, anticipation, avoidance, confidence, loneliness, reassurance, attachment and readiness to change. What the test asks, for example Withdrawal If your child fades into the background in group situations, even when they have something to say. If your child holds their place in the group even when there is conflict or tension. Isolation If your child often stays on the sidelines during breaks or extracurricular activities. If your child joins a group that is already playing on their own, without waiting for an invitation. Speaking up If your child has difficulty expressing their opinion or preference in front of other people. If your child makes their view heard rather than letting others decide for them. Speaking your mind If your child gives up expressing a wish or a refusal to avoid drawing attention to themselves. If your child often speaks up first, without waiting for others to set the example. Dialogue If your child has difficulty maintaining even a brief conversation with someone they do not know well. If your child opens up just as easily out loud as in writing (text, drawing, letter). What others think If your child avoids situations where they risk being watched or evaluated by strangers. If your child stays physically relaxed in situations where they feel observed. Judgment If your child says they are 'afraid of being judged' or do not want to 'look silly'. If your child seems just as much themselves in a group as at home. Anticipation If your child shows visible signs of tension before a new social situation (stomach, head, agitation). If your child stays just as they always are the day before a social event. Avoidance If your child avoids activities they would like to do because of fear of being watched. If your child dives into new situations even when they are not compulsory. Confidence If your child shows observable withdrawal (closed posture, silence) in environments they do not know. If your child is just as relaxed and talkative in a new space as in a familiar place. Loneliness If your child says they are 'bad at social stuff' or that they do not know how to 'make friends'. If your child happily joins a large group, just as readily as one or two children. Reassurance If your child often seeks reassurance before a social situation by asking you lots of questions. If your child often asks for information about what will happen before a new activity or outing. Attachment If your child often tries to hold your hand or stay close to you in new social situations. If your child needs a trusted adult to be present in order to engage in a new situation. Readiness to change If your child's shyness is having a real impact on their well-being or your family life right now. If you believe you are capable of supporting your child while respecting who they are.