Cleopatra: How She Manipulated the Most Powerful Men

Gildas GarrecCBT Psychopractitioner
6 min read

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This article is available in French only.

Cleopatra: Psychological Portrait of a Manipulative Queen

Cleopatra VII (69-30 BC), the last queen of Egypt, has fascinated historians for two millennia. Beyond the romantic myth, this political figure reveals a complex, strategic, and profoundly narcissistic personality. As a CBT practitioner, I will analyze her psychological functioning through contemporary frameworks of personality assessment, unveiling the mechanisms that shaped her power and precipitated her downfall.

1. Young's Early Schemas: The Child of Power

Schema of Abandonment and Emotional Deprivation

Born into the Ptolemaic royal family, Cleopatra experienced a childhood marked by political instability. Her father, Ptolemy XII, was deposed and exiled. These early experiences likely activated an early abandonment schema: the queen learned that power is precarious, that trust is a luxury.

This schema explains her subsequent behavior: she never became emotionally attached to her political partners (Caesar, Antony), using them instrumentally instead. She created dependence in them (inverse schema: she became the object of their desire) to secure her position. This is a defensive inversion: rather than suffer abandonment, she controlled who would abandon her.

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Schema of Deficiency and Grandiosity

Simultaneously, Cleopatra developed a compensatory grandiosity schema. Faced with Egypt weakened against Rome, she constructed a superhuman public image: living goddess, incarnation of Isis, a woman of unequaled intelligence and beauty.

This schema reveals underlying narcissistic fragility. She had to constantly prove her worth, hence her hyperactive politics, her elaborate staging (meeting Antony in the costume of Venus), her repeated strategic alliances. Each political victory temporarily fed a sense of competence, but never durably.

2. Anxious-Avoidant Attachment: Between Fusion and Rejection

Profile of Ambivalent Insecure Attachment

An analysis of Cleopatra's attachment style reveals an anxious-avoidant configuration. She manifested simultaneously:

  • Intense relational anxiety: constant need for validation from her powerful partners (Caesar, then Antony). Her relationships with these figures were never balanced; she sought permanent assurance of their commitment.
  • An avoidant tendency: absence of genuine emotional attachment. Her three marriages to her brothers (Ptolemaic custom) were political arrangements without real intimacy.
This insecure dynamic explains her inability to maintain stable alliances. With Caesar, she obtained a son but abandoned Rome to return to Egypt. With Antony, despite cohabiting for 11 years, she remained fundamentally estranged from his Roman concerns, manipulating him rather than loving him.

The Fear of Loss of Control

Her anxiety manifested primarily through the necessity of controlling every relational variable. She could not accept mutual dependence; she had to be the one controlling or dominating. This rigidity explains her inability to adapt her strategy against Octavian, who did not respond to her usual manipulations.

3. The Big Five: Narcissism and Hyperactive Conscientiousness

High Extraversion (E+)

Cleopatra displayed highly developed extraversion. She excelled in public relations, diplomacy, and political staging. A polyglot (she spoke at least 8 languages), she adapted her behavior to each audience. This dimension explains her charisma and ability to negotiate. Contrary to the myth of the "fatal beauty," her power stemmed from her relational intelligence.

Exceptionally High Conscientiousness (C+++)

A key and surprising element: Cleopatra manifested exceptional conscientiousness. She mastered finances, diplomatic codes, indirect military strategy, and administrative management. Her political effectiveness resulted from this extraordinary discipline. She methodically planned each alliance, anticipated consequences, and organized rigorously.

This conscientiousness was never in service of the common good, but exclusively for the consolidation of personal power.

Low to Very Low Agreeableness (A--)

Cleopatra presented very low agreeableness. Little empathy toward her subjects, allies, or brothers. She eliminated political rivals without scruple, including her own siblings. Her alliances with Rome were based on calculation, never on reciprocity.

Moderate Openness (O+)

She manifested above-average openness to experience, particularly regarding cultures, art, and ideas. She encouraged the arts, adopted Egyptian rites despite her Greek roots, appropriated local religious symbols—cognitive flexibility in service of power.

Masked Moderate Neuroticism (N+)

Beneath the confident surface lay underlying emotional vulnerability: instability in the face of serious threats, moments of depression when control slipped, impulsive reactions to rejection (such as her suicide after Actium).

4. The Dark Triad: Narcissism, Machiavellianism, Psychopathy

Dominant Grandiose Narcissism

Cleopatra embodied pure grandiose narcissism:

  • Constant need for admiration

  • Absolute sense of political entitlement

  • Exploitation of relationships for glory

  • Lack of guilt over her machinations


She perceived herself as destined to reign, invested with a divine mission. This narcissistic conviction allowed her to morally justify all her actions.

Refined Machiavellianism

Her sophisticated strategic machiavellianism included:

  • Emotional manipulation of Caesar and Antony

  • Use of her children as political tools

  • Cynical management of Egyptian public opinion

  • Absolute absence of abstract loyalty to her allies


Contrary to stereotype, her machiavellianism was intellectual, not emotional.

Limited Psychopathy

A partial psychopathic profile: genuine absence of empathy, occasional impulsivity (hasty executions), but with significant behavioral inhibition. She was not chaotic criminal, but organized criminal. Her strategic suicide (failed negotiation with Octavian) demonstrates some awareness of consequences—which contradicts primary psychopathy.


Applicable CBT Lessons

1. Identify Early Schemas in Your Clients

Like Cleopatra, your patients often develop compensatory strategies in response to early abandonment. Apparent confidence may mask profound fragility. Explore schema origins, not just current manifestations.

2. Recognize Anxious Dependence Disguised as Control

The compulsive need to "manage" a relationship often signals untreated attachment anxiety. Helping your client express genuine needs (security, stability) transforms toxic control into authentic collaboration.

3. Use the Big Five to Contextualize Conscientiousness

Very high conscientiousness combined with low agreeableness creates an egocentric perfectionist. Redirecting this conscientiousness toward prosocial objectives (rather than domination) produces powerful transformation.

4. Address the Dark Triad with Realistic Compassion

Narcissistic clients change only if they perceive a personal benefit superior to their current system. Rather than "healing" narcissism, help them channel these traits toward less destructive objectives.

5. Prepare Clients for "Actium Moments"

Cleopatra did not adapt her strategy against an adversary (Octavian) impervious to her manipulation. Teach your clients cognitive flexibility: when the plan fails, change the plan, not reality.


Conclusion

Cleopatra remains a fascinating psychological portrait: a brilliant, strategic woman, yet imprisoned in insecurity schemas she attempted to compensate through domination. Her political genius could not mask her fundamental inability to form authentic relationships.

In clinical practice, her case reminds us of an uncomfortable truth: intelligence, conscientiousness, and the capacity to manipulate never produce psychological well-being. Only genuine emotional security and authentic connection produce it.

This is precisely what the last queen of Egypt lacked.


Related Reading


To Go Further: My book Freeing Yourself from Toxic Relationships deepens the themes covered in this article with practical exercises and concrete tools. Discover on Amazon | Read a free excerpt
Recommended Reading:

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Gildas Garrec, Psychopraticien TCC

About the author

Gildas Garrec · CBT Psychopractitioner

Certified practitioner in cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), author of 16 books on applied psychology and relationships. Over 900 clinical articles published across Psychologie et Sérénité.

📚 16 published books📝 900+ articles🎓 CBT certified

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Cleopatra: How She Manipulated the Most Powerful Men | Psychologie et Sérénité