Rumination in Children: When Thoughts Go Round and Round Without Stopping

Rumination — the tendency to go over the same negative thoughts repeatedly, without being able to resolve or move past them — is one of the most studied cognitive processes in clinical psychology. It is strongly associated with anxiety, depression, and the maintenance of psychological suffering.

In the article that follows, I explore rumination and looping thoughts. If you recognise yourself in this theme, I designed a mental rumination test that helps you take stock of your tendency to ruminate. It comes with a guide to extend your reflection beyond the results. I also wrote a book on this subject, Your Thoughts Don’t Have to Run Your Life, if you would like to go further.

It can be observed from childhood: a child who endlessly revisits a humiliation experienced at school, who lies in bed in the evening "replaying the film" of an argument, who anticipates future events by imagining worst-case scenarios — these are forms of rumination. You can also discuss this in Psy Lounge, a voice space run by a CBT-trained AI.

What distinguishes reflection from rumination

Reflection is oriented towards resolution. One thinks about a problem, explores solutions, and arrives at something. Rumination goes in circles: the same thoughts return without producing movement, without reaching a conclusion, without changing the situation. I examine this question in My Mind Won’t Give Me a Break.

A child thinking "how am I going to apologise tomorrow?" is reflecting. A child who spends two hours repeating to themselves "I was terrible, I shouldn't have said that, they hate me now" is ruminating.

What maintains rumination

Lack of active distraction

Situations of low external stimulation (free time, bedtime) are classic rumination triggers. This is not a reason to avoid calm — but a clue for understanding when thoughts start to drift.

The search for certainty

Rumination is often an attempt to "resolve" an uncertain situation through thought. The problem: uncertainty cannot be resolved through reflection — it has to be tolerated. Learning to tolerate uncertainty is one of the most effective treatments.

Self-judgement

Children who judge themselves harshly after every imperfection ruminate more. Working on self-compassion — treating oneself as one would treat a friend in the same situation — significantly reduces rumination.

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