School Stress in Children: When School Becomes a Source of Anxiety

A certain level of stress can be functional — it prepares the body for a demanding situation, sharpens concentration, and mobilises resources. But when school stress becomes chronic, it produces the opposite effect: it deteriorates memory, concentration, learning capacity, and can lead to anxiety disorders.

In the article that follows, I explore anxiety and chronic worry. If you recognise yourself in this theme, I designed a generalized anxiety test that helps you take stock of your everyday anxiety level. It comes with a guide to extend your reflection beyond the results. I also wrote a book on this subject, My Mind Won’t Give Me a Break, if you would like to go further.

In children, school stress is often expressed indirectly — stomach aches before school, Sunday evening tears, refusing to go to class — rather than through explicit articulation.

Sources of school stress

Fear of assessment

Tests, oral questioning, dictations — any moment where the child is evaluated and judged can be experienced as a threat. This fear of assessment is common and can be distinct from the child's actual abilities. I also offer Psy Lounge, a space to explore this topic by voice with a CBT-trained AI.

Performance pressure

A child whose parents have high expectations, or who has internalised the need to always "be among the top," may experience each school exercise as a test of their personal worth.

Unidentified learning difficulty

A child who struggles to follow in class due to an undiagnosed difficulty (dyslexia, dyscalculia, ADHD) may experience chronic stress linked to the fear of finding themselves in difficulty — without understanding why. I go deeper into this mechanism in Your Thoughts Don’t Have to Run Your Life.

The relational context

Conflicts with a teacher, fear of being mocked in front of the class, bullying — all these relational dimensions can generate school stress independently of the academic level.

What helps

Distinguishing the source of stress, validating the child's experience without minimising it, working on catastrophic thinking (CBT), and if necessary, adjusting expectations or seeking professional support.

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