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Cover of The Absent Father

The Absent Father

Psychological Consequences and Reconstruction

By Gildas Garrec · 210 pages · 2025

About this book

Explore the effects of a physically or emotionally absent father. A book on attachment, fear of abandonment and building your own emotional foundations.

Did you grow up without a father, or with one who was physically present but emotionally absent — and are you still trying to understand what that absence shaped in you? This clinical guide explores the many faces of paternal absence — physical, emotional, or inherited from toxic parents — and their specific consequences depending on whether you're a son or a daughter, across eight chapters grounded in Jeffrey Young's schema therapy, particularly the abandonment, emotional deprivation, and mistrust schemas. One chapter addresses the specific challenges of blended families, and two chapters guide you through grieving the ideal father all the way to rebuilding yourself as your own anchor. Grounded in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and enriched with anonymized clinical cases, this book doesn't set out to blame fathers or trap readers in a victim stance: it names a wound that's still too rarely spoken about, helps you understand how it keeps shaping your relationship, your work, and your self-esteem, and shows you how to transform it.

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Table of contents

  1. 1Invisible Wounds and the Path to Healing
  2. 2Crisis resources
  3. 3Physical absence and emotional absence: two distinct wounds
  4. 4The many faces of the absent father
  5. 5What the research tells us
  6. 6When absence is transmitted from generation to generation
  7. 7The legitimacy of all forms of suffering
  8. 8Key Points of Chapter 1
  9. 9Constructing masculinity without a paternal model
  10. 10The paths of compensation
  11. 11Risk-taking behavior and the search for limits
  12. 12Emotional intimacy: the great challenge
  13. 13Key Points of Chapter 2
  14. 14The father: first mirror of femininity
  15. 15The relational patterns of daughters of absent fathers
  16. 16Self-esteem and body image
  17. 17Key Points of Chapter 3
  18. 18The paradox of the empty presence
  19. 19The faces of the emotionally absent father
  20. 20The consequences of paternal emotional neglect
  21. 21The legacy of previous generations
  22. 22Key Points of Chapter 4
  23. 23When presence causes more harm than absence
  24. 24The faces of the toxic father
  25. 25The toxic legacy: what we carry without knowing it
  26. 26Key Points of Chapter 5
  27. 27The complexity of loyalties
  28. 28The stepfather: a role to be invented
  29. 29Children facing family recomposition
  30. 30The place of the absent biological father in the blended family
  31. 31Key Points of Chapter 6
  32. 32Additional Material for Chapter 1: The Many Faces of Paternal Absence
  33. 33Additional Material for Chapter 2: The Impact on Sons
  34. 34The ideal father: a necessary construction
  35. 35The stages of grief
  36. 36Young's schemas in the absent father dynamic
  37. 37An illuminating study: long-term consequences
  38. 38Key Points of Chapter 7
  39. 39Reparenting: becoming one's own inner parent
  40. 40Breaking the intergenerational cycle
  41. 41For women: choosing differently
  42. 42Community and support
  43. 43Key Points of Chapter 8
  44. 44Scientific references cited in the text
  45. 45In the Same Collection
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