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My mental load in the relationship
63 questions·10 min·5 dimensions and a separate readiness-to-change module·up to 14 clinical frameworks·5 report sections
Reviewed by Gildas Garrec, CBT practitioner
Good morning,
This test looks at the mental load in a couple, which is not the same as counting tasks. It gathers four aspects: what is anticipated at all times, the way the division of that work is experienced, the fatigue it produces without being seen, and whether or not it is recognized. The report describes each of these aspects.
What you receive — a report written from your answers: what stands out, what sustains it, and where to start. This week, this month, later on.
How it is built — each axis is analyzed on its own, then cross-read with the others, through clinical reading frameworks. Your detailed answers are attached as an appendix. See an example report
The test runs over 63 questions and takes about 10 min, for a price of $3.60.
We'd also suggest reading the book The Practical CBT Guide, to take this reflection further. It's included in the price and downloadable.
If you have a question about your report, write to us at contact@psychologieetserenite.com: a psychotherapist will reply within 48 hours.
I'd also suggest analysing your conversation with ScanMyLove; it's a complementary tool that, from your exchanges as partners, sheds light on your relationship dynamics.
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My mental load in the relationship — a 63-question self-assessment, about 10 min. This test looks at the mental load in a couple: what is anticipated at all times, the division as it is experienced, invisible fatigue and recognition. Once finished, you receive a detailed PDF report ($3.60): an interpretation of its 5 dimensions, a radar chart, up to 14 clinical reading frameworks and a personalized action plan. It is designed to help you know yourself better.
This test covers anticipation, organization, responsibility, support, the relationship, dialogue, recognition, what others think, tiredness, sleep, hypervigilance, time, mood and readiness to change. What the test asks, for example Anticipation If you see what will run out before it does. If you each think for yourselves, without having to think for the other. Organization If you make lists so that nothing falls through. If responsibility for organizing rests somewhere other than on you. Responsibility If the biggest share of it is on your shoulders. If what you take on matches what the other takes on. Support If you have to ask before things get done. If the other acts without you having to think for them. The relationship If the gap between your two loads leaps out at you. If the split seems fair to you, on reflection. Dialogue If you would like that work to be named out loud, just once. If, when you bring it up, you are taken seriously. Recognition If what you hold up single-handedly goes unwitnessed at home. If your partner thanks you for what you hold together. What others think If what you organize passes without a word, as if it were a given. If they notice what you anticipated, without you pointing it out. Tiredness If, in the evening, your head is running on empty, without your having done anything physical. If you feel available and clear-headed at the moment. Sleep If, in the evening, your body is still while your head keeps turning. If you sleep well, and wake up rested. Hypervigilance If you stay on standby, one ear tuned in even during a film. If, on vacation, your head really lets go. Time If running the household costs you what you would have wanted to put elsewhere. If your own space stays sheltered from all this. Mood If a background irritation follows you around, from thinking of everything. If your sleep and your mood come out of it unharmed. Readiness to change If you want the split to change. If you believe you can shift this.
About this test
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Dimensions assessed
- ●Your reading of this load- The way you explain this weight you carry in organizing daily life, before the test tells you anything about it. This section measures no difficulty and produces no level: it captures a starting reading, and none of the four proposed answers is more correct than another. Your answer is picked up and discussed in the section of the report devoted to you.
- ●Task anticipation- I keep track of what needs to be done, I think ahead about what will run out, I plan before things become urgent. Anticipation is the most invisible form of mental load.
- ●Perceived division- How I experience the distribution of this load between me and my partner. This isn't an objective measure — it's my perception, and that's already meaningful.
- ●Invisible fatigue- Mental load isn't physical, but it exhausts. This dimension explores cognitive and emotional fatigue, and the feeling of being constantly 'on standby'.
- ●Recognition- Is what I do mentally seen, named, acknowledged? Recognition (or its absence) has a real impact on how we experience our mental load.
- ●Readiness to Change- Measures your current readiness to acknowledge what you're experiencing and to allow your situation to evolve.
Reference frameworks and authors
This test explores your perception of mental load in your relationship. It doesn't assign blame and doesn't measure an objective reality — it measures your experience. That experience deserves to be acknowledged, whether or not it is shared by your partner.
Why take this test?
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This test looks at the mental load in a couple, which is not the same as counting tasks. It gathers four aspects: what is anticipated at all times, the way the division of that work is experienced, the fatigue it produces without being seen, and whether or not it is recognized. The report describes each of these aspects.
The questionnaire explores 5 areas: Your reading of this load, Task anticipation, Perceived division, Invisible fatigue, Recognition. Your answers support reflection, not a diagnosis. A separate module explores readiness to change; it is not another trait of the model presented.
Dimensions explored
These are the aspects explored by this questionnaire. Your answers help put them into perspective.
Your reading of this load
The way you explain this weight you carry in organizing daily life, before the test tells you anything about it. This section measures no difficulty and produces no level: it captures a starting reading, and none of the four proposed answers is more correct than another. Your answer is picked up and discussed in the section of the report devoted to you.
Task anticipation
I keep track of what needs to be done, I think ahead about what will run out, I plan before things become urgent. Anticipation is the most invisible form of mental load.
Perceived division
How I experience the distribution of this load between me and my partner. This isn't an objective measure — it's my perception, and that's already meaningful.
Invisible fatigue
Mental load isn't physical, but it exhausts. This dimension explores cognitive and emotional fatigue, and the feeling of being constantly 'on standby'.
Recognition
Is what I do mentally seen, named, acknowledged? Recognition (or its absence) has a real impact on how we experience our mental load.
Readiness to Change
Measures your current readiness to acknowledge what you're experiencing and to allow your situation to evolve.
How does it work?
1
Take the test
Answer the 63 questions honestly. There are no right or wrong answers — just choose the option that best describes you. The test takes about 10 min.
2
Proceed to payment
Once you finish the test, pay $3.60 securely to unlock your full report. No registration required.
3
Download your detailed PDF report
For a comprehensive analysis, get your PDF report (5 dimensions analyzed, radar chart, personalized recommendations, action plan). Instant download after secure payment.
Frequently Asked Questions
What does this test measure?
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This test evaluates 5 psychological dimensions: Your reading of this load, Task anticipation, Perceived division, Invisible fatigue, Recognition. The report distinguishes the areas explored and their limits of interpretation. A separate module explores readiness to change; it is not another trait of the model presented.
How long does this test take?
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The test contains 63 questions and takes approximately 10 min to complete. You can answer at your own pace — your progress is automatically saved in your browser.
How does this test work?
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The test is anonymous and requires no registration. After completing it, you immediately see a preview of your results. The detailed PDF report, with in-depth analysis, charts and personalized recommendations, is available for $3.60.
Is this test scientifically validated?
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This questionnaire draws on 5 dimensions from recognized psychological frameworks (Your reading of this load, Task anticipation, Perceived division…). It's a self-assessment tool for reflection, not a clinical diagnostic instrument: it has not undergone formal psychometric validation (sample, reliability coefficient) and does not replace a professional assessment.
What does the PDF report contain?
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Your report includes an analysis by dimension, explanations and personalised points for reflection and a separate readiness-to-change module. Scores are interpreted according to the purpose and limitations of this questionnaire.
Is my data kept confidential?
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No account creation, no email required — no sign-up needed at all. Your answers are sent to our servers while you take the test. All data is automatically deleted after 30 days — see our Privacy page for full detail.
Who is this test for?
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Read this test’s introduction and dimensions to check whether they match your situation. Answer from the perspective specified in the instructions.
Can I retake the test later?
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Yes, you can retake this test as many times as you wish. Some people take it again after several months to observe how their profile evolves. Each new attempt generates its own report — previous answers are not reused.
What should I do with my results?
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The report organises your answers and offers points for reflection. You can discuss it with a professional; it does not replace their assessment or prescribe treatment.
Can people close to me also take it?
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Yes. Each person gets their own anonymous, unique report, based on THEIR answers. Comparing profiles within a family or couple can be useful — provided each person takes the test honestly and on their own, without influencing one another during the answers.
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Test developed by Psychologie et Sérénité. Does not replace a professional consultation.