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Is My Relationship in Danger? Gottman Warning Signs
63 questions·10 min·5 dimensions and a separate readiness-to-change module·up to 14 clinical frameworks·5 report sections
Reviewed by Gildas Garrec, CBT practitioner
Good morning,
This test looks at the warning signals in a relationship, as identified by Gottman's work. The report describes the patterns that repeat and the escalation, the presence of contempt, the defensiveness that prevents any repair, and the emotional distance that gains ground.
What you receive — a report written from your answers: what stands out, what sustains it, and where to start. This week, this month, later on.
How it is built — each axis is analyzed on its own, then cross-read with the others, through clinical reading frameworks. Your detailed answers are attached as an appendix. See an example report
The test runs over 63 questions and takes about 10 min, for a price of $3.60.
We'd also suggest reading the book Saving Your Relationship, to take this reflection further. It's included in the price and downloadable.
If you have a question about your report, write to us at contact@psychologieetserenite.com: a psychotherapist will reply within 48 hours.
I'd also suggest analysing your conversation with ScanMyLove; it's a complementary tool that, from your exchanges as partners, sheds light on your relationship dynamics.
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Is My Relationship in Danger? Gottman Warning Signs — a 63-question self-assessment, about 10 min. This test looks at the warning signals identified by Gottman's work: the patterns that repeat, contempt, defensiveness and growing emotional distance. Once finished, you receive a detailed PDF report ($3.60): an interpretation of its 5 dimensions, a radar chart, up to 14 clinical reading frameworks and a personalized action plan. It is designed to help you know yourself better.
This test covers conflict, belittling, humiliation, blame reversal, remorse, repair, avoidance, dialogue, listening, recognition, having your perception questioned, loneliness, withdrawal, affection and readiness to change. What the test asks, for example Conflict If your conflicts quickly go below the belt. If your disagreements end up being resolved. Belittling If there are regular digs, even dressed up as jokes. If there is real respect, facing you. Humiliation If you have been belittled in front of other people. If you are told there is admiration for you. Blame reversal If there is always a designated victim in your arguments. If the other admits fault when they are at fault. Remorse If you hear justifications when the damage is already done. If you admit yours without it costing you. Repair If, after an argument, the resentment stays hooked in. If, when you hold out your hand, it is taken. Avoidance If someone systematically flees the difficult conversations. If you can put any subject at all on the table. Dialogue If your discussions go round in circles because nobody steps aside. If you still have conversations that matter. Listening If, when you explain how you feel, the conversation goes elsewhere. If you could say what the other is going through right now. Recognition If you are treated as someone lesser, in your own home. If you feel valued in this relationship. Having your perception questioned If what you feel is played down, or contradicted. If raising a problem gets it played down at once. Loneliness If you feel alone, even beside that person. If you share what really stirs you. Withdrawal If you operate as two tenants rather than two partners. If you still ask each other how the other is, really. Affection If tenderness has grown scarce between you. If intimacy, of body or of heart, is still alive. Readiness to change If you want to change how the two of you operate. If you believe you can get there.
About this test
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Dimensions assessed
- ●Your reading of what most endangers your relationship today- The way you explain what most endangers your relationship today, before the test tells you anything. This section does not measure any difficulty and does not produce a level: it collects a starting reading.
- ●General Warning Signals- General indicators of relational fragility: repetitive patterns, conflict escalation, avoided subjects, feelings of being stuck or hopeless.
- ●Contempt- Presence of contempt, sarcasm, condescension, or belittling — the strongest predictor of separation according to Gottman.
- ●Defensiveness- Difficulty acknowledging one's faults, systematic counter-attack, feeling like the victim — attitudes that block repair.
- ●Emotional Distance- Progressive withdrawal, reduction in intimate exchanges, feeling of loneliness in the relationship, parallel lives without real connection.
- ●Readiness to Change- Measures your current readiness to become aware of the signals present in your relationship and to engage in a process of growth.
Reference frameworks and authors
- This test is based on the conceptual framework of Gottman's Four Horsemen (contempt, criticism, defensiveness, stonewalling) and the predictors of relational deterioration identified in his longitudinal research. It is not a validated psychometric instrument and does not constitute a clinical assessment. It does not predict the future of your relationship. The terms used describe patterns observed at a given moment. Gottman JM & Levenson RW — The Timing of Divorce: Predicting When a Couple Will Divorce Over a 14-Year Period (Gottman JM, Levenson RW, 2000)
Why take this test?
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This test looks at the warning signals in a relationship, as identified by Gottman's work. The report describes the patterns that repeat and the escalation, the presence of contempt, the defensiveness that prevents any repair, and the emotional distance that gains ground.
The questionnaire explores 5 areas: Your reading of what most endangers your relationship today, General Warning Signals, Contempt, Defensiveness, Emotional Distance. Your answers support reflection, not a diagnosis. A separate module explores readiness to change; it is not another trait of the model presented.
Dimensions explored
These are the aspects explored by this questionnaire. Your answers help put them into perspective.
Your reading of what most endangers your relationship today
The way you explain what most endangers your relationship today, before the test tells you anything. This section does not measure any difficulty and does not produce a level: it collects a starting reading.
General Warning Signals
General indicators of relational fragility: repetitive patterns, conflict escalation, avoided subjects, feelings of being stuck or hopeless.
Contempt
Presence of contempt, sarcasm, condescension, or belittling — the strongest predictor of separation according to Gottman.
Defensiveness
Difficulty acknowledging one's faults, systematic counter-attack, feeling like the victim — attitudes that block repair.
Emotional Distance
Progressive withdrawal, reduction in intimate exchanges, feeling of loneliness in the relationship, parallel lives without real connection.
Readiness to Change
Measures your current readiness to become aware of the signals present in your relationship and to engage in a process of growth.
How does it work?
1
Take the test
Answer the 63 questions honestly. There are no right or wrong answers — just choose the option that best describes you. The test takes about 10 min.
2
Proceed to payment
Once you finish the test, pay $3.60 securely to unlock your full report. No registration required.
3
Download your detailed PDF report
For a comprehensive analysis, get your PDF report (5 dimensions analyzed, radar chart, personalized recommendations, action plan). Instant download after secure payment.
Frequently Asked Questions
What does this test measure?
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This test evaluates 5 psychological dimensions: Your reading of what most endangers your relationship today, General Warning Signals, Contempt, Defensiveness, Emotional Distance. The report distinguishes the areas explored and their limits of interpretation. A separate module explores readiness to change; it is not another trait of the model presented.
How long does this test take?
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The test contains 63 questions and takes approximately 10 min to complete. You can answer at your own pace — your progress is automatically saved in your browser.
How does this test work?
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The test is anonymous and requires no registration. After completing it, you immediately see a preview of your results. The detailed PDF report, with in-depth analysis, charts and personalized recommendations, is available for $3.60.
Is this test scientifically validated?
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This questionnaire draws on 5 dimensions from recognized psychological frameworks (Your reading of what most endangers your relationship today, General Warning Signals, Contempt…). It's a self-assessment tool for reflection, not a clinical diagnostic instrument: it has not undergone formal psychometric validation (sample, reliability coefficient) and does not replace a professional assessment.
What does the PDF report contain?
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Your report includes an analysis by dimension, explanations and personalised points for reflection and a separate readiness-to-change module. Scores are interpreted according to the purpose and limitations of this questionnaire.
Is my data kept confidential?
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No account creation, no email required — no sign-up needed at all. Your answers are sent to our servers while you take the test. All data is automatically deleted after 30 days — see our Privacy page for full detail.
Who is this test for?
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Read this test’s introduction and dimensions to check whether they match your situation. Answer from the perspective specified in the instructions.
Can I retake the test later?
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Yes, you can retake this test as many times as you wish. Some people take it again after several months to observe how their profile evolves. Each new attempt generates its own report — previous answers are not reused.
What should I do with my results?
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The report organises your answers and offers points for reflection. You can discuss it with a professional; it does not replace their assessment or prescribe treatment.
Can people close to me also take it?
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Yes. Each person gets their own anonymous, unique report, based on THEIR answers. Comparing profiles within a family or couple can be useful — provided each person takes the test honestly and on their own, without influencing one another during the answers.
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Test developed by Psychologie et Sérénité. Does not replace a professional consultation.