What Is My Parenting Style? — Self-Assessment

This test covers rules, control, boundaries, commitments, dialogue, anger, comparison, listening, affection, recognition, pleasure, remorse, checking, empathy and readiness to change. What the test asks, for example Rules If you leave the rules at home implicit, without spelling them out. If you explain to your child why a particular rule exists. Control If you decide in your child's place, including on things that would be age-appropriate for them. If you let your child have experiences, even if you would have done things differently. Boundaries If you let go of the limits you have set when it becomes difficult. If you make sure your child understands the consequences of their actions. Commitments If you let announced consequences pass without following through. If you make sure your child knows what to expect from you. Dialogue If you express your expectations in general terms, without concrete examples. If you express what you expect clearly, without your child having to guess. Anger If you raise your voice with your child when you are frustrated. If you recognize when an exchange is escalating and step back. Comparison If you compare your child to other children or to their siblings. If you distinguish your child's problematic behavior from who they are as a person. Listening If you decide without negotiating, even when the situation would allow it. If you listen to your child's arguments before making a decision. Affection If you rarely express affection toward your child. If your child knows you love them, even when you set a limit. Recognition If you praise your child for their results, more than for their effort. If your child knows they have value in your eyes, regardless of their performance. Pleasure If you lack the time for enjoyable moments with your child. If you take an interest in what your child is passionate about. Remorse If you keep your mistakes to yourself rather than acknowledging them in front of your child. If you revisit your decisions when you believe you have made a mistake. Checking If you assume your child has understood what you asked of them, without checking. If you acknowledge when you have communicated poorly and rephrase. Empathy If you play down your child's emotions when they are difficult ones. If you listen to your child when they express an emotion. Readiness to change If your parenting style plays a real role in your daily life right now. If you believe that reflecting on your parenting style could be useful for your child and for you.