Gaslighting Test: spotting the signs of manipulation

This interactive test covers having your perception questioned, blame reversal, belittling, isolation, memory, checking, confidence, self-esteem, guilt, speaking up, support, anxiety, autonomy and readiness to change. What the test asks, for example Having your perception questioned If, when you describe something that really happened, this person tells you that you are "making up stories." If, when you share a memory, this person receives it without telling you that you are overdramatizing or making things up. Blame reversal If, after an argument, you end up being the one comforting this person. If, when you raise a complaint, this person listens and acknowledges their part. Belittling If, when you disagree, this person calls you "too sensitive," "paranoid," or "unstable." If, in front of your family and friends, this person speaks about you with respect. Isolation If, when you want to stay in touch with someone you have known for a long time, this person keeps raising objections. If you have people close to you that you can call in the evening. Memory If, in the evening, when a doubt about a memory comes back, you reread old messages to check that your memory isn't deceiving you. If you trust your memories without needing to dig up old messages. Checking If you write down dates on your phone to make sure you are not making things up. If, when your memory and this person's memory differ, you stick to your version. Confidence If, since this relationship, you doubt yourself and your judgment more than before. If, after a discussion with this person, you keep confidence in your own judgment. Self-esteem If, even before you open your mouth, you question what you are feeling. If, thinking back on the scene the next day, you see things clearly and stay calm. Guilt If, after an argument where you were the target, you end up feeling guilty. If, after an argument ends, your conscience stays clear about what you did not do. Speaking up If, in public, this person cuts you off or plays down what you say in front of others. If, when you raise an issue at dinner, it gets addressed without you ending up apologizing. Support If this person makes you feel that no one else would believe you. If, when you tell someone close to you what you are going through, you feel listened to and taken seriously. Anxiety If, before voicing your disagreement to this person, your stomach knots up. If you come out of a conversation with this person with clarity, certain of what was just said. Autonomy If you find it increasingly hard to choose without someone else's opinion, even for a restaurant. If you go out to see your friends on a Saturday without it causing problems when you get back. Readiness to change If you recognize that what you have experienced weighs on your life. If you believe you are capable of rebuilding.