Toxic Relationship Quiz: Warning Signs

This test covers having your perception questioned, reversed responsibility, alternating kindness and harshness, devaluation, isolation, control, money, limits, repair, abandonment, humiliation, appearance, trust, support, and readiness to change. What the test asks, for example Perception If words you once said keep coming back to you twisted, until you no longer recognize what you actually said. If, when you say something is bothering you, it is genuinely heard and taken into account. Responsibility If you are the one who ends up held responsible at the end of every discussion, whatever the original topic. If people ask you for things directly, without detours or hints of guilt. Alternation If kindness and harshness take turns from one day to the next, without you being able to guess which one is coming. If, when something is wrong between you, it is brought up honestly, without detours or hidden meaning. Devaluation If repeated jokes about you actually serve to make fun of you in front of other people. If you are accepted as you are, without being compared to other people. Isolation If the friends you used to see before this relationship have disappeared from your life one by one, without explanation. If, when your friends or family come over, they are warmly welcomed by everyone. Control If you are expected to report where you are at all times, with no right to leave a message unanswered. If you freely decide your own days and schedule, without having to account for them to anyone. Money If access to your own bank account is restricted, without that decision being yours to make. If shared spending is decided together, after a conversation where each of you can have a say. Limits If specific rules are imposed on you about what you are and are not allowed to do. If, when you ask for an evening to yourself, that need for space is heard and respected. Repair If, after an argument, things go back to normal as if nothing happened, without a word of apology. If a promise to change, made after an argument, goes nowhere in the weeks that follow. Abandonment If the threat of a breakup comes up whenever something is wanted from you, even over a small detail. If you are repeatedly told you would struggle to find anyone else who would accept you as you are. Humiliation If you regularly hear humiliating remarks about your worth, said in a tone meant to sound harmless. If, day to day, you feel respected in this relationship. Appearance If your looks come up in conversation, one way or another, whether in front of others or alone together. If it is decided for you how you are supposed to dress, without leaving you any choice. Trust If the same remarks about what you supposedly got wrong come back, almost word for word, week after week. If, when you succeed at something, even something small, it is noticed and said sincerely. Support If your circle is actively discouraged from supporting you, their help framed as an intrusion. If you can talk about your difficulties with someone you trust. Readiness to change If what you have just described weighs on your everyday life. If you believe you are able to rebuild yourself.