Am I Questioning My Feelings for My Partner? — Test

This test covers identity, alternation, speaking your mind, guilt, shame, judgment, self-esteem, what others think, personal standards, avoidance, control, secrecy, comparison and readiness to change. What the test asks, for example Identity If you feel confused when you try to define what you experience for your partner. If you clearly know what you feel for your partner. Alternation If you sometimes oscillate between opposite feelings toward your partner within the same day. If you know fairly precisely what you feel, and it does not weigh on you. Speaking your mind If there is a gap between what you say you feel and what you experience inwardly. If you manage to put words to what you feel for your partner. Guilt If you feel guilty for having these doubts about your partner. If you allow yourself to go through this period of questioning without condemning yourself. Shame If you feel ashamed of not being certain about your feelings for your partner. If you accept that going through a period of emotional questioning does not make you a less loving person. Judgment If you judge yourself for having these doubts — you tell yourself you should know what you feel. If you can look at your questioning with curiosity rather than severity. Self-esteem If this questioning sometimes makes you doubt your value as a loving person. If you are kind toward yourself when this questioning arises. What others think If you would feel embarrassed if someone knew you were asking yourself these questions about your feelings. If conversations with people in your life do not shake what you think of your relationship. Personal standards If you reproach yourself for not having the feelings you 'should' have. If you can welcome your questioning as a normal part of your emotional life. Avoidance If you prefer to set this questioning aside rather than look at it more closely. If you can stay with the discomfort of this questioning without needing to resolve it right away. Control If it is hard for you to make room for what you feel without wanting to clarify everything immediately. If you allow yourself not to know — at least for now. Secrecy If you prefer not to talk about this questioning, even with someone you trust. If you have found ways to explore this questioning — through writing, reading or conversations — that have helped you. Comparison If your emotional questioning is fed by comparisons with situations that seem simpler or better to you. If you look at other couples without it feeding your questioning. Readiness to change If this questioning affects you and has an important place in your life right now. If you believe you have the resources to go through this questioning at your own pace.