Manipulation & Emotional Abuse Test

This test covers having your perception questioned, memory, belittling, guilt, blame reversal, affection, coercive control, alternation, isolation, speaking your mind, independence, self-esteem and readiness to change. What the test asks, for example Having your perception questioned If they question your memory or your perception of things ('you're making it up', 'you're exaggerating'). If you can trust your memory and your perception, even when this person disagrees with you. Memory If the person denies events that actually happened ('that never happened'). If they hide or move objects, then claim you lost them or that you have memory problems. Belittling If they tell you you're 'too sensitive' or 'crazy' when you express your emotions. If they downplay your concerns by telling you you're 'making a big drama out of nothing'. Guilt If this person makes you feel guilty when you take time for yourself. If, with this person, you feel free to say no without having to justify yourself at length or apologize. Blame reversal If, when you call out hurtful behavior, they turn the situation around and accuse you of being the one really at fault. If, when a conflict arises, each of you acknowledges your share of responsibility, without everything systematically falling on you. Affection If they withdraw their affection (silence, coldness) when you don't meet their expectations. If, in this relationship, affection and attention are given to you unconditionally, not in exchange for your obedience. Coercive control If they use ultimatums ('if you do that, we're over'). If they make their love or attention conditional on your obedience. Alternation If they swing between very affectionate moments and sudden withdrawals of attention depending on whether you obey them or not. If they sigh, sulk or act cold to force you into doing what they want. Isolation If they tell you your family or friends are 'turning you against them' to make you feel guilty for seeing them. If they imply that no one will believe you over them, given their reputation or status. Speaking your mind If they use their professional position to intimidate you, impress you, or silence you. If, in this relationship, your opinions carry equal weight, whatever each person's job or social position. Independence If they control the household's money or resources to keep you dependent. If this person threatens to take away what matters to you (time together, plans, support) if you don't obey. Self-esteem If they make you feel that you don't deserve better than them and that no one else would want you. If they imply they could find someone better than you if you don't change. Readiness to change If the manipulative behaviors you have experienced have a real impact on your life. If you believe you are capable of rebuilding and getting better.