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Emotional Dependency

Breaking Free from the Compulsive Need for Others

By Gildas Garrec · 210 pages · 2025

About this book

Guide TCC pour identifier la dépendance affective (codépendance), comprendre ses origines (Bowlby, Norwood), poser des limites, retrouver une autonomie émotionnelle.

Do you often confuse love with needing someone? Can't stand being alone, accept the unacceptable to avoid losing your partner, or completely lose yourself in your relationships? This clinical guide explores emotional dependency — that excessive need for the other person's reassurance and presence to feel safe — across 8 chapters tracing its roots in anxious childhood attachment all the way to a path toward emotional autonomy. Grounded in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), John Bowlby's attachment theory and Jeffrey Young's schema therapy, it also draws on recent neurobiological research on relational addiction to destigmatize what isn't weakness but a learned survival strategy — and therefore a reversible one. Each chapter combines clinical case studies with concrete practical exercises to help you identify your own dependency cycle, face the fear of abandonment, and build a balanced relationship where love stays a free choice, never a prison. Also intended for helping professionals looking to enrich their clinical practice.

dépendance affectivecodépendancelimitesautonomie émotionnelle

Table of contents

  1. 1Breaking Free from the Need for Others
  2. 2Crisis resources
  3. 3Domestic abuse
  4. 4Defining emotional dependency
  5. 5Clinical characteristics
  6. 6Different clinical presentations
  7. 7The spectrum of emotional dependency
  8. 8Healthy attachment versus dependency: the distinguishing criteria
  9. 9The neurobiological mechanisms of emotional dependency
  10. 10The cultural and social dimension
  11. 11Prevalence and epidemiological data
  12. 12Lesser-known forms of emotional dependency
  13. 13The continuum between love and addiction: a scientific debate
  14. 14The role of the psychological immune system
  15. 15Emotional dependency and comorbidities
  16. 16Understanding codependency
  17. 17Codependent patterns
  18. 18The rescuer trap
  19. 19The origins of codependency
  20. 20Codependency and gender
  21. 21The neurobiology of codependency
  22. 22The physical impact of codependency
  23. 23Codependency in relationships with narcissistic personalities
  24. 24Escaping codependency: the first steps
  25. 25Attachment theory: the fundamentals
  26. 26Anxious attachment as the breeding ground for emotional dependency
  27. 27Origins in childhood
  28. 28Internal working models
  29. 29The intergenerational transmission of attachment
  30. 30Neuroplasticity: the brain can change
  31. 31Attachment in adulthood: Hazan and Shaver's research
  32. 32The role of implicit memory
  33. 33When anxious attachment meets trauma
  34. 34Recognizing your attachment style
  35. 35The phases of the cycle
  36. 36Intermittent reinforcement: the fuel of the cycle
  37. 37The repetition compulsion: why we always fall back into the same pattern
  38. 38The social and economic cost of emotional dependency
  39. 39The factors maintaining the cycle
  40. 40The biochemistry of the cycle: understanding emotional withdrawal
  41. 41The trauma bond
  42. 42The role of social media in accelerating the cycle
  43. 43The abandonment schema according to Jeffrey Young
  44. 44The self-fulfilling prophecy
  45. 45The fear of abandonment in children of divorce
  46. 46Real abandonment versus perceived abandonment
  47. 47Manifestations of the fear of abandonment
  48. 48The neuroscientific roots of the fear of abandonment
  49. 49The fear of abandonment and the five core wounds
  50. 50Compensation strategies: how the fear of abandonment disguises itself
  51. 51Healing the abandonment wound: therapeutic pathways
  52. 52Enmeshment: an impossible boundary
  53. 53The loss of self: a four-stage process
  54. 54Identity diffusion
  55. 55The consequences of enmeshment on mental health
  56. 56Enmeshment and the soulmate myth
  57. 57Parental enmeshment: when the parent dissolves into the child
  58. 58Personal boundaries: definition and construction
  59. 59Early warning signs of enmeshment
  60. 60Chosen solitude versus imposed solitude
  61. 61Building self-validation
  62. 62Self-soothing: becoming your own secure base
  63. 63CBT techniques for autonomy
  64. 64Reparenting: becoming the parent you never had
  65. 65Spirituality and the existential dimension
  66. 66The body as ally: the somatic approach to autonomy
  67. 67The pitfalls of reclaiming autonomy
  68. 68The role of those around us in the healing process
  69. 69Healthy interdependence versus dependency
  70. 70Maintaining individuality in the couple
  71. 71The pillars of a balanced relationship
  72. 72Vulnerability as strength: the lessons of Brene Brown
  73. 73Nonviolent Communication in the couple
  74. 74When both partners are on the journey
  75. 75Love after healing: testimonies of transformation
  76. 76What we have learned together
  77. 77The paradox of healing
  78. 78Self-love: the forgotten foundation
  79. 79The journey continues
  80. 80A message of hope
  81. 81A final word
  82. 82Scientific articles
  83. 83Reference works
  84. 84Other books in the collection
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