
Infidelity and Jealousy
Understand, Overcome, Rebuild
By Gildas Garrec · 220 pages · 2025
Available format
About this book
63 % des couples restent ensemble après une infidélité. Protocole Snyder/Baucom en 3 phases (impact, signification, avancée), gestion de la jalousie pathologique, reconstruction de la confiance.
You've just discovered an infidelity, or it's a jealousy you can no longer control that's eating away at you — and you no longer know whether your relationship can, or should, survive? This clinical guide draws on the work of recognized researchers (John Gottman, Shirley Glass, Esther Perel) and on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy to explore, without judgment, why people cheat, what neuroscience reveals about jealousy (it activates the same brain circuits as physical pain), and how to get through the shock of discovery. Eight chapters guide you from the psychological mechanisms of infidelity and its new digital forms to five concrete steps for overcoming betrayal, the question of forgiveness, and — if it's the right decision — leaving. The final chapter addresses rebuilding trust, whether with the same partner or a new one. Every chapter offers anonymized clinical cases and practical exercises, to do alone or as a couple, to help you make informed choices instead of ones dictated by panic or shame.
Table of contents
- 1Understanding, Overcoming, Deciding
- 2Crisis resources
- 3When Trust Wavers
- 4The Enigma of Infidelity
- 5Insights from Evolutionary Psychology
- 6The Different Types of Infidelity
- 7Individual Factors
- 8Relational Factors
- 9Situational and Contextual Factors
- 10The New Face of Infidelity
- 11The Invisible Boundary
- 12The Brain in the Age of Swiping
- 13Online Emotional Infidelity: Betrayal Without Contact
- 14Financial and Digital Infidelity
- 15Digital Surveillance: A Trap for the Couple
- 16The Green-Eyed Monster
- 17The Evolutionary Function of Jealousy
- 18Healthy Jealousy vs. Destructive Jealousy
- 19Jealousy and Attachment Styles
- 20Robert Leahy's Cognitive Model of Jealousy
- 21Relationship OCD (ROCD): When Jealousy Becomes Obsessional
- 22Retroactive Jealousy
- 23The Day Everything Changes
- 24The Anatomy of Shock
- 25Post-Infidelity Stress Disorder
- 26Diffuse Physiological Arousal: Gottman's Concept
- 27The First 48 Hours: What to Do — and What Not to Do
- 28The Shockwave in the Family
- 29The Path Exists — But It Is Long
- 30Gordon, Baucom, and Snyder's Three-Phase Model
- 31The Question of Time: How Long Does It Take?
- 32Individual Therapy vs. Couple Therapy: Which to Choose?
- 33Step 1 — Disclosure: Telling the Truth
- 34Step 2 — Emotional Processing: Weathering the Storm
- 35Step 3 — Understanding: Making Meaning
- 36Step 4 — Forgiveness: A Choice, Not an Obligation
- 37Step 5 — Reconstruction: Creating a New Couple
- 38The Most Loaded Word in the Language
- 39What Forgiveness Is NOT
- 40Enright's Model: The Four Phases of Forgiveness
- 41The Measurable Benefits of Forgiveness
- 42Worthington's REACH Model: A Structured Method
- 43The Neuroscience of Forgiveness: What Happens in the Brain
- 44Forgiving Oneself: The Forgotten Work of the Unfaithful Partner
- 45The Courage to Say "Enough"
- 46When Trust Can No Longer Be Rebuilt
- 47Serial Infidelity: A Pattern to Recognize
- 48Signals That It Is Time to Leave
- 49Leaving with Children: The Most Difficult Question
- 50Co-Parenting After Separation: Protecting the Children
- 51A Decision Framework: Stay or Leave?
- 52Financial and Practical Considerations: The Necessary Taboo
- 53The Most Delicate Construction Project
- 54The Stages of Reconstruction
- 55Transparency vs. Surveillance: A Crucial Distinction
- 56Gottman's Trust Rebuilding System
- 57Concrete Behaviors That Rebuild Trust
- 58Rebuilding Intimacy: The Most Intimate Path
- 59The Traps of Reconstruction
- 60Rebuilding Trust in a New Relationship
- 61Beyond the Wound
- 62What Science Teaches Us — and What It Cannot Tell Us
- 63A Word of Hope
- 64Scientific References (Peer-Reviewed Articles)
- 65Reference Works
- 66About the Author
- 67In the Same Collection
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