
Infidelity and Jealousy
Comprendre, surmonter, reconstruire
By Gildas Garrec · 220 pages · 2025
Available formats
About this book
63 % des couples restent ensemble après une infidélité. Protocole Snyder/Baucom en 3 phases (impact, signification, avancée), gestion de la jalousie pathologique, reconstruction de la confiance.
You've just discovered an infidelity, or it's a jealousy you can no longer control that's eating away at you — and you no longer know whether your relationship can, or should, survive? This clinical guide draws on the work of recognized researchers (John Gottman, Shirley Glass, Esther Perel) and on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy to explore, without judgment, why people cheat, what neuroscience reveals about jealousy (it activates the same brain circuits as physical pain), and how to get through the shock of discovery. Eight chapters guide you from the psychological mechanisms of infidelity and its new digital forms to five concrete steps for overcoming betrayal, the question of forgiveness, and — if it's the right decision — leaving. The final chapter addresses rebuilding trust, whether with the same partner or a new one. Every chapter offers anonymized clinical cases and practical exercises, to do alone or as a couple, to help you make informed choices instead of ones dictated by panic or shame.
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Take the infidelity test →Table of contents
- 1Understanding, Overcoming, Deciding
- 2When Trust Wavers
- 3The Enigma of Infidelity
- 4Insights from Evolutionary Psychology
- 5The Different Types of Infidelity
- 6Individual Factors
- 7Relational Factors
- 8Situational and Contextual Factors
- 9The New Face of Infidelity
- 10The Invisible Boundary
- 11The Brain in the Age of Swiping
- 12Online Emotional Infidelity: Betrayal Without Contact
- 13Financial and Digital Infidelity
- 14Digital Surveillance: A Trap for the Couple
- 15The Green-Eyed Monster
- 16The Evolutionary Function of Jealousy
- 17Healthy Jealousy vs. Destructive Jealousy
- 18Jealousy and Attachment Styles
- 19Robert Leahy's Cognitive Model of Jealousy
- 20Relationship OCD (ROCD): When Jealousy Becomes Obsessional
- 21Retroactive Jealousy
- 22The Day Everything Changes
- 23The Anatomy of Shock
- 24Post-Infidelity Stress Disorder
- 25Diffuse Physiological Arousal: Gottman's Concept
- 26The First 48 Hours: What to Do — and What Not to Do
- 27The Shockwave in the Family
- 28The Path Exists — But It Is Long
- 29Gordon, Baucom, and Snyder's Three-Phase Model
- 30The Question of Time: How Long Does It Take?
- 31Individual Therapy vs. Couple Therapy: Which to Choose?
- 32Step 1 — Disclosure: Telling the Truth
- 33Step 2 — Emotional Processing: Weathering the Storm
- 34Step 3 — Understanding: Making Meaning
- 35Step 4 — Forgiveness: A Choice, Not an Obligation
- 36Step 5 — Reconstruction: Creating a New Couple
- 37The Most Loaded Word in the Language
- 38What Forgiveness Is NOT
- 39Enright's Model: The Four Phases of Forgiveness
- 40The Measurable Benefits of Forgiveness
- 41Worthington's REACH Model: A Structured Method
- 42The Neuroscience of Forgiveness: What Happens in the Brain
- 43Forgiving Oneself: The Forgotten Work of the Unfaithful Partner
- 44The Courage to Say "Enough"
- 45When Trust Can No Longer Be Rebuilt
- 46Serial Infidelity: A Pattern to Recognize
- 47Signals That It Is Time to Leave
- 48Leaving with Children: The Most Difficult Question
- 49Co-Parenting After Separation: Protecting the Children
- 50A Decision Framework: Stay or Leave?
- 51Financial and Practical Considerations: The Necessary Taboo
- 52The Most Delicate Construction Project
- 53The Stages of Reconstruction
- 54Transparency vs. Surveillance: A Crucial Distinction
- 55Gottman's Trust Rebuilding System
- 56Concrete Behaviors That Rebuild Trust
- 57Rebuilding Intimacy: The Most Intimate Path
- 58The Traps of Reconstruction
- 59Rebuilding Trust in a New Relationship
- 60Beyond the Wound
- 61What Science Teaches Us — and What It Cannot Tell Us
- 62A Word of Hope
- 63Scientific References (Peer-Reviewed Articles)
- 64Reference Works
- 65About the Author
- 66Crisis resources
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