
Breaking Free from Toxic Relationships
Recognise it, break free, rebuild yourself
By Gildas Garrec · 240 pages · 2025
Available format
About this book
Understand manipulation, gaslighting and coercive relationship patterns. A guide to recognizing harmful dynamics, setting boundaries and rebuilding self-esteem.
Do you feel trapped in a relationship that's destroying you? You apologize constantly, doubt your own perceptions, no longer recognize the person you were before meeting them? This clinical guide decodes the mechanisms of relational control — manipulation, gaslighting, trauma bonding, love bombing followed by intermittent reinforcement — across eight chapters that move from spotting the ten warning signs to rebuilding after the relationship ends, covering the narcissistic manipulator profile along the way. Written by a psychopractitioner specializing in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), it draws on real anonymized clinical cases and recent research in relationship psychology (Kaighobadi et al., 2024) to show that relational toxicity isn't just a feeling — it's a documented, measurable phenomenon. You'll learn to tell a healthy conflict apart from a control dynamic, break free of constant self-blame, and guard against relapsing into a new toxic pattern — a path toward rebuilding self-esteem and independence, not just a list of tips.
Table of contents
- 1Manipulation, Narcissistic Abuse, and Recovery — A CBT Guide with Practical Exercises
- 2Domestic abuse
- 3Crisis resources
- 4Defining the Toxic Relationship
- 5The Difference Between Healthy Conflict and a Toxic Relationship
- 6The Spectrum of Toxicity
- 7The Ten Warning Signs
- 8Scientific Research on Toxic Relationships
- 9Why Is It So Difficult to Recognize a Toxic Relationship When You Are Living It?
- 10Returning to Nathalie's Case
- 11PRACTICAL EXERCISE: The Warning Signs Journal
- 12Key Points of Chapter 1
- 13What Is Trauma Bonding?
- 14The Neurochemistry of Trauma Bonding
- 15Intermittent Reinforcement: The Heart of the Trap
- 16Why Victims Stay: Beyond Neurochemistry
- 17Echo and Narcissus: A Two-Way Dependence
- 18The Physiological Cost of Trauma Bonding
- 19Returning to Sebastien's Case
- 20PRACTICAL EXERCISE: The Emotional Map
- 21Child Witnesses: The Silent Victims of Trauma Bonding
- 22Key Points of Chapter 2
- 23Origins of the Term
- 24Defining Gaslighting
- 25The Eight Techniques of Gaslighting
- 26Institutional and Cultural Gaslighting
- 27The Impact of Gaslighting on Mental Health
- 28Subtle Forms of Gaslighting: Beyond the Obvious
- 29How to Recognize That You Are a Victim of Gaslighting
- 30Returning to Camille's Case
- 31PRACTICAL EXERCISE: The Reality Journal
- 32Key Points of Chapter 3
- 33The Four Phases of the Coercive Control Cycle
- 34The Karpman Drama Triangle: Understanding Relational Roles
- 35How Manipulators Choose Their Targets
- 36Cognitive Distortions Maintained by the Abuser
- 37Returning to Amina's Case
- 38PRACTICAL EXERCISE: Identifying My Role in the Karpman Triangle
- 39Key Points of Chapter 4
- 40Bibliographic References for Chapters 1 to 4
- 41Understanding Pathological Narcissism
- 42DSM-5 Criteria: Narcissistic Personality Disorder
- 43Grandiose Narcissism Versus Vulnerable Narcissism
- 44The Narcissistic Wound: Understanding the Origins
- 45Can a Narcissist Change?
- 46The Trap of Misplaced Compassion
- 47The Question of Co-Parenting
- 48When the Narcissist Is in the Mirror
- 49CBT in Service of Coercive Control Victims
- 50The Cognitive Model Applied to Toxic Relationships
- 51Cognitive Distortions Maintained by the Manipulator
- 52The ABC Model: Understanding the Link Between Events, Beliefs, and Consequences
- 53Behavioral Activation: Rebuilding a Life
- 54The Therapeutic Journal: A Daily Ally
- 55Cognitive Defusion: Detaching from Toxic Thoughts
- 56When CBT Is Not Enough
- 57The Time for Rebuilding
- 58Rebuilding Self-Esteem: Jeffrey Young's Schema Model
- 59Relearning Trust: Building Secure Attachment
- 60The Art of Setting Boundaries
- 61Why Victims Fall Back Into the Trap
- 62Warning Signs in a New Relationship
- 63The Role of Attachment Style in Partner Choice
- 64Building a Support Network
- 65Cultivating the Relationship with Yourself
- 66Forgiveness: A Nuanced Question
- 67What This Book Cannot Do
- 68A Message of Hope
- 69When to Consult a Professional
- 70Resources
- 71Scientific References Cited (Chapters 5 to 8)
- 72Reference Works
- 73In the Same Collection
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