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Breaking Free from Toxic Relationships

Recognise it, break free, rebuild yourself

By Gildas Garrec · 240 pages · 2025

About this book

Understand manipulation, gaslighting and coercive relationship patterns. A guide to recognizing harmful dynamics, setting boundaries and rebuilding self-esteem.

Do you feel trapped in a relationship that's destroying you? You apologize constantly, doubt your own perceptions, no longer recognize the person you were before meeting them? This clinical guide decodes the mechanisms of relational control — manipulation, gaslighting, trauma bonding, love bombing followed by intermittent reinforcement — across eight chapters that move from spotting the ten warning signs to rebuilding after the relationship ends, covering the narcissistic manipulator profile along the way. Written by a psychopractitioner specializing in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), it draws on real anonymized clinical cases and recent research in relationship psychology (Kaighobadi et al., 2024) to show that relational toxicity isn't just a feeling — it's a documented, measurable phenomenon. You'll learn to tell a healthy conflict apart from a control dynamic, break free of constant self-blame, and guard against relapsing into a new toxic pattern — a path toward rebuilding self-esteem and independence, not just a list of tips.

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Table of contents

  1. 1Manipulation, Narcissistic Abuse, and Recovery — A CBT Guide with Practical Exercises
  2. 2Domestic abuse
  3. 3Crisis resources
  4. 4Defining the Toxic Relationship
  5. 5The Difference Between Healthy Conflict and a Toxic Relationship
  6. 6The Spectrum of Toxicity
  7. 7The Ten Warning Signs
  8. 8Scientific Research on Toxic Relationships
  9. 9Why Is It So Difficult to Recognize a Toxic Relationship When You Are Living It?
  10. 10Returning to Nathalie's Case
  11. 11PRACTICAL EXERCISE: The Warning Signs Journal
  12. 12Key Points of Chapter 1
  13. 13What Is Trauma Bonding?
  14. 14The Neurochemistry of Trauma Bonding
  15. 15Intermittent Reinforcement: The Heart of the Trap
  16. 16Why Victims Stay: Beyond Neurochemistry
  17. 17Echo and Narcissus: A Two-Way Dependence
  18. 18The Physiological Cost of Trauma Bonding
  19. 19Returning to Sebastien's Case
  20. 20PRACTICAL EXERCISE: The Emotional Map
  21. 21Child Witnesses: The Silent Victims of Trauma Bonding
  22. 22Key Points of Chapter 2
  23. 23Origins of the Term
  24. 24Defining Gaslighting
  25. 25The Eight Techniques of Gaslighting
  26. 26Institutional and Cultural Gaslighting
  27. 27The Impact of Gaslighting on Mental Health
  28. 28Subtle Forms of Gaslighting: Beyond the Obvious
  29. 29How to Recognize That You Are a Victim of Gaslighting
  30. 30Returning to Camille's Case
  31. 31PRACTICAL EXERCISE: The Reality Journal
  32. 32Key Points of Chapter 3
  33. 33The Four Phases of the Coercive Control Cycle
  34. 34The Karpman Drama Triangle: Understanding Relational Roles
  35. 35How Manipulators Choose Their Targets
  36. 36Cognitive Distortions Maintained by the Abuser
  37. 37Returning to Amina's Case
  38. 38PRACTICAL EXERCISE: Identifying My Role in the Karpman Triangle
  39. 39Key Points of Chapter 4
  40. 40Bibliographic References for Chapters 1 to 4
  41. 41Understanding Pathological Narcissism
  42. 42DSM-5 Criteria: Narcissistic Personality Disorder
  43. 43Grandiose Narcissism Versus Vulnerable Narcissism
  44. 44The Narcissistic Wound: Understanding the Origins
  45. 45Can a Narcissist Change?
  46. 46The Trap of Misplaced Compassion
  47. 47The Question of Co-Parenting
  48. 48When the Narcissist Is in the Mirror
  49. 49CBT in Service of Coercive Control Victims
  50. 50The Cognitive Model Applied to Toxic Relationships
  51. 51Cognitive Distortions Maintained by the Manipulator
  52. 52The ABC Model: Understanding the Link Between Events, Beliefs, and Consequences
  53. 53Behavioral Activation: Rebuilding a Life
  54. 54The Therapeutic Journal: A Daily Ally
  55. 55Cognitive Defusion: Detaching from Toxic Thoughts
  56. 56When CBT Is Not Enough
  57. 57The Time for Rebuilding
  58. 58Rebuilding Self-Esteem: Jeffrey Young's Schema Model
  59. 59Relearning Trust: Building Secure Attachment
  60. 60The Art of Setting Boundaries
  61. 61Why Victims Fall Back Into the Trap
  62. 62Warning Signs in a New Relationship
  63. 63The Role of Attachment Style in Partner Choice
  64. 64Building a Support Network
  65. 65Cultivating the Relationship with Yourself
  66. 66Forgiveness: A Nuanced Question
  67. 67What This Book Cannot Do
  68. 68A Message of Hope
  69. 69When to Consult a Professional
  70. 70Resources
  71. 71Scientific References Cited (Chapters 5 to 8)
  72. 72Reference Works
  73. 73In the Same Collection
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