My Ex Has Moved On
Stop Watching, Break Free, Move On
By Gildas Garrec · 180 pages · 2025
Available format
About this book
Cope with an ex’s new relationship, painful comparisons and social media checking. A CBT-based guide to rebuilding self-esteem and returning attention to your own life.
You've just learned that your ex is in a new relationship, and the news has reopened a pain you thought you'd overcome? This clinical guide explains why this piece of information can hurt as much as a second breakup: it relaunches a grief you believed was finished, triggers the idealization trap, and pulls you into devastating social comparisons — a mechanism first described back in 1954 by psychologist Leon Festinger, and shown by more recent research to be especially damaging when self-esteem is already fragile. Ten chapters guide you from understanding this specific pain to a digital detox from monitoring their social media, rebuilding self-esteem, forgiveness as liberation, and redefining who you are outside that relationship. Grounded in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), this book doesn't promise to erase the pain overnight, but offers a progressive method for you to stop comparing, stop watching, and reopen your heart to your own life.
Table of contents
- 1Grief, Letting Go, and Rebirth
- 2Crisis resources
- 3Introduction — When the Ground Gives Way a Second Time
- 4PART ONE — Understanding the Storm
- 5Chapter 1 — Why It Hurts So Much to Know
- 6Chapter 2 — The Grief Reawakened
- 7Chapter 3 — The Idealization Trap
- 8Chapter 4 — The Digital Detox
- 9Bibliographic References (Part One)
- 10The Emotional Storm of the Displaced Parent
- 11The Impact on Children: What the Research Says
- 12The Loyalty Conflict: The Invisible Trap
- 13The Stepparent: Neither Parent Nor Stranger
- 14The Traps of Toxic Co-Parenting
- 15Building Functional Co-Parenting: The "Parental Colleagues" Model
- 16Specific Situations: When Co-Parenting Gets Complicated
- 17The Legal Dimension: Rights and Limits of the Stepparent
- 18Holidays and Events: Navigating Troubled Waters
- 19The Anatomy of Broken Self-Esteem
- 20Cognitive Distortions Specific to Comparison with the New Partner
- 21Self-Compassion: A Scientific Revolution
- 22Reconstruction Through Values
- 23The Trap of External Validation
- 24The Body as an Anchor
- 25Rebuilding Social Bonds
- 26Relational Impostor Syndrome
- 27Comparison with the New Partner: The Slow Poison
- 28The Role of the Body in Rebuilding Self-Esteem
- 29Breadcrumbing: The Art of Leaving Crumbs
- 30The Return-Relapse Cycle: Understanding the Dynamic
- 31The Decision Framework: Seven Questions Before Answering
- 32Warning Signs: When the Return Is Toxic
- 33The "Grass Is Greener" Effect and Return Syndrome
- 34The Neurobiology of Return: Why Your Brain Traps You
- 35Suspicious Timing: Why Exes Always Come Back at the Worst Moment
- 36The Power of "No": Choosing Not to Return
- 37Post-Traumatic Growth: When Pain Becomes Transformation
- 38Neuroplasticity in Service of Rebirth
- 39Building a New Identity: The Post-Breakup Self
- 40The Work of Meaning-Making
- 41The Closure Ritual: Saying Goodbye to the Old Story
- 42Relearning to Love: The Conditions for a New Beginning
- 43Relational Lessons: What This Ordeal Taught You
- 44Reference Works
- 45Scientific Articles
- 46The Essentials of Applied Psychology
- 47Outside the Collection
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