Chargement…
← All tests
Do we really talk about sex in our relationship?
63 questions·10 min·5 dimensions and a separate readiness-to-change module·up to 14 clinical frameworks·5 report sections
Reviewed by Gildas Garrec, CBT practitioner
Good morning,
This test looks at the way sexuality is spoken about, or kept silent, in the couple. The report describes how comfortably you express what you want, the way you receive what the other expresses, what happens when your needs diverge, and the areas that have become silent.
What you receive — a report written from your answers: what stands out, what sustains it, and where to start. This week, this month, later on.
How it is built — each axis is analyzed on its own, then cross-read with the others, through clinical reading frameworks. Your detailed answers are attached as an appendix. See an example report
The test runs over 63 questions and takes about 10 min, for a price of $3.60.
We'd also suggest reading the book The Practical CBT Guide, to take this reflection further. It's included in the price and downloadable.
If you have a question about your report, write to us at contact@psychologieetserenite.com: a psychotherapist will reply within 48 hours.
I'd also suggest analysing your conversation with ScanMyLove; it's a complementary tool that, from your exchanges as partners, sheds light on your relationship dynamics.
Secure payment by StripePayPayVISAPayPal
QUICK ANSWER
Do we really talk about sex in our relationship? — a 63-question self-assessment, about 10 min. This test looks at how sexuality is spoken about, or kept silent, in the couple: expressing, listening, diverging needs, and areas gone silent. Once finished, you receive a detailed PDF report ($3.60): an interpretation of its 5 dimensions, a radar chart, up to 14 clinical reading frameworks and a personalized action plan. It is designed to help you know yourself better.
This test covers speaking your mind, shame, avoidance, judgment, listening, empathy, consent, boundaries, desire, conflict, repair, dialogue, secrecy and readiness to change. What the test asks, for example Speaking your mind If you have difficulty putting your sexual desires or needs into words, even when you feel them clearly. If you manage to tell your partner what you like about your sex life. Shame If shame or embarrassment prevents you from talking about your sexual needs. If you can talk about your sexual preferences with your partner without too much discomfort. Avoidance If you prefer to stay silent rather than face a difficult conversation about sex. If you feel free to start a conversation about sex when you need to. Judgment If you sometimes judge your partner's desires even if you say nothing. If fear of your partner's judgment prevents you from raising certain sexual topics. Listening If you sometimes react defensively when your partner talks about their sexual dissatisfactions. If, when your partner expresses a sexual desire or wish, you listen without interrupting. Empathy If you sometimes minimize or relativize what your partner feels in your sex life. If you notice when your partner seems dissatisfied even when they do not say so. Consent If you have difficulty declining a sexual invitation from your partner, even when you are not in the mood. If you can decline a sexual proposal without it becoming a source of conflict. Boundaries If you often give in to what your partner wants in order to avoid tension, even when it is not what you want. If you are able to mutually respect each other's limits in the sexual domain. Desire If your differences in desire create tension or resentment between you. If, when you do not have the same desires, you manage to talk about it calmly. Conflict If sex is a topic on which you often feel you do not understand each other. If you manage to talk after a period without sex, without it turning into an argument. Repair If your disagreements about sex often remain unresolved. If your conversations about sex often lead to something constructive. Dialogue If there are aspects of your sex life you never discuss, by tacit agreement. If sex is a topic you talk about freely in your relationship. Secrecy If you sometimes fake or conceal what you truly feel in order to avoid a difficult conversation. If you think you both have sexual dissatisfactions you have never shared with each other. Readiness to change If you want your situation to evolve. If the way you talk (or do not talk) about sex in your relationship has a real impact on your life.
About this test
▼
Dimensions assessed
- ●Ease of expressing desires- Can you express your sexual desires, needs, and preferences to your partner? The ease of talking about oneself sexually is the first condition for satisfying sexual communication.
- ●Listening to your partner- Do you welcome your partner's desires, needs, and requests? Listening — without judgment, without automatic rejection — is the other indispensable side of living sexual communication.
- ●Negotiating needs- When your desires do not coincide, can you talk about it and find arrangements that respect both partners? Sexual negotiation is a relational skill, not a conflict.
- ●Unspoken topics and taboos- Are there sexuality-related topics you dare not raise with your partner? Persistent silences can create distance, frustration, or misunderstanding.
- ●Readiness to Change- Measures your current readiness to acknowledge what you are experiencing and to evolve your communication.
- ●Your reading of this silence- The way you explain this silence or this difficulty talking about sex as a couple to yourself, before the test tells you anything at all. This section measures no difficulty and produces no level: it gathers a starting reading, because this silence is not explained the same way depending on whether you trace it to your upbringing, to a past experience, or to the way the couple itself functions.
Reference frameworks and authors
- Dyadic sexual communication (Byers, 2005)
This test is based on Sandra Byers's work (2005) on sexual communication in long-term relationships, notably the Dyadic Sexual Communication (DSC) model. It is not a validated version of that instrument and adapts certain dimensions for a general, non-clinical audience.
This test is a tool for exploring sexual communication in your relationship. It does not measure the quality of your sex life and does not prejudge what is 'normal'. The scores reflect your subjective perceptions at the moment you respond.
Why take this test?
▼
This test looks at the way sexuality is spoken about, or kept silent, in the couple. The report describes how comfortably you express what you want, the way you receive what the other expresses, what happens when your needs diverge, and the areas that have become silent.
The questionnaire explores 5 areas: Ease of expressing desires, Listening to your partner, Negotiating needs, Unspoken topics and taboos, Your reading of this silence. Your answers support reflection, not a diagnosis. A separate module explores readiness to change; it is not another trait of the model presented.
Dimensions explored
These are the aspects explored by this questionnaire. Your answers help put them into perspective.
Ease of expressing desires
Can you express your sexual desires, needs, and preferences to your partner? The ease of talking about oneself sexually is the first condition for satisfying sexual communication.
Listening to your partner
Do you welcome your partner's desires, needs, and requests? Listening — without judgment, without automatic rejection — is the other indispensable side of living sexual communication.
Negotiating needs
When your desires do not coincide, can you talk about it and find arrangements that respect both partners? Sexual negotiation is a relational skill, not a conflict.
Unspoken topics and taboos
Are there sexuality-related topics you dare not raise with your partner? Persistent silences can create distance, frustration, or misunderstanding.
Readiness to Change
Measures your current readiness to acknowledge what you are experiencing and to evolve your communication.
Your reading of this silence
The way you explain this silence or this difficulty talking about sex as a couple to yourself, before the test tells you anything at all. This section measures no difficulty and produces no level: it gathers a starting reading, because this silence is not explained the same way depending on whether you trace it to your upbringing, to a past experience, or to the way the couple itself functions.
How does it work?
1
Take the test
Answer the 63 questions honestly. There are no right or wrong answers — just choose the option that best describes you. The test takes about 10 min.
2
Proceed to payment
Once you finish the test, pay $3.60 securely to unlock your full report. No registration required.
3
Download your detailed PDF report
For a comprehensive analysis, get your PDF report (5 dimensions analyzed, radar chart, personalized recommendations, action plan). Instant download after secure payment.
Frequently Asked Questions
What does this test measure?
▼
This test evaluates 5 psychological dimensions: Ease of expressing desires, Listening to your partner, Negotiating needs, Unspoken topics and taboos, Your reading of this silence. The report distinguishes the areas explored and their limits of interpretation. A separate module explores readiness to change; it is not another trait of the model presented.
How long does this test take?
▼
The test contains 63 questions and takes approximately 10 min to complete. You can answer at your own pace — your progress is automatically saved in your browser.
How does this test work?
▼
The test is anonymous and requires no registration. After completing it, you immediately see a preview of your results. The detailed PDF report, with in-depth analysis, charts and personalized recommendations, is available for $3.60.
Is this test scientifically validated?
▼
This questionnaire draws on 5 dimensions from recognized psychological frameworks (Ease of expressing desires, Listening to your partner, Negotiating needs…). It's a self-assessment tool for reflection, not a clinical diagnostic instrument: it has not undergone formal psychometric validation (sample, reliability coefficient) and does not replace a professional assessment.
What does the PDF report contain?
▼
Your report includes an analysis by dimension, explanations and personalised points for reflection and a separate readiness-to-change module. Scores are interpreted according to the purpose and limitations of this questionnaire.
Is my data kept confidential?
▼
No account creation, no email required — no sign-up needed at all. Your answers are sent to our servers while you take the test. All data is automatically deleted after 30 days — see our Privacy page for full detail.
Who is this test for?
▼
Read this test’s introduction and dimensions to check whether they match your situation. Answer from the perspective specified in the instructions.
Can I retake the test later?
▼
Yes, you can retake this test as many times as you wish. Some people take it again after several months to observe how their profile evolves. Each new attempt generates its own report — previous answers are not reused.
What should I do with my results?
▼
The report organises your answers and offers points for reflection. You can discuss it with a professional; it does not replace their assessment or prescribe treatment.
Can people close to me also take it?
▼
Yes. Each person gets their own anonymous, unique report, based on THEIR answers. Comparing profiles within a family or couple can be useful — provided each person takes the test honestly and on their own, without influencing one another during the answers.
Related Resources
Other tests
Couple & Sexuality
Am I satisfied with my sex life?
This test looks at sexual satisfaction in a couple: whether frequency matches what is wanted, the pleasure actually felt, the freedom to talk about it.
63 questionsReport: €2.90
Couple & Sexuality
Is My Relationship Solid? The Gottman Indicators
This test maps your relational foundations: positive predictors, positive/negative balance, mutual admiration, and conflict repair capacity.
63 questionsReport: €2.90
Couple & Sexuality
Do I Have a Fear of Intimacy? — Relationship Test
This test looks at emotional closeness: avoiding vulnerability, adjusting the distance, fear of losing yourself, gestures that push away.
63 questionsReport: €2.90
Test developed by Psychologie et Sérénité. Does not replace a professional consultation.