Abandonment Issues Quiz: Understand Your Patterns

This interactive test covers reading signals, distance, separation, loneliness, reassurance, checking, sleep, anxiety, avoidance, commitment, rumination, longing and readiness to change. What the test asks, for example Reading signals If a different tone of voice on the phone makes you think right away that something is wrong. If you can receive constructive criticism without seeing it as rejection. Distance If, at the thought that someone close might drift away from you, your stomach knots. If, even far from the people you love, you keep a sense of connection with them. Separation If, when your partner goes away, you live through the days that follow with a knot in your stomach. If, when your partner is away for a long time, you stay calm until they return. Loneliness If, at the thought of spending the evening with no one around, you feel a knot of anxiety from late afternoon. If you spend an evening without your partner, your mind taken up by what you're doing. Reassurance If you ask your partner to tell you again that they love you, even when nothing is wrong. If the love you are given is enough for you, without your needing to hear it said again. Checking If, in the evening, you look at what your partner posts on social media and search it for a sign of attachment. If you believe in your partner's feelings without going to check on them. Sleep If you toss and turn in bed, unable to sleep, when your partner isn't there. If, the day after a departure, you have already regained your usual calm. Anxiety If, with no news from someone close for a long while, what you tell yourself sounds like: something serious must have happened. If you feel secure in your relationship without needing it to be proven to you. Avoidance If, when a relationship starts to matter, you end it yourself before the other person drifts away. If you can become fully attached to a relationship that matters, even knowing it might end one day. Commitment If, as soon as there is talk of moving in together, you feel like pulling away. If you accept needing someone, without experiencing it as a danger. Rumination If, after a remark made to you in front of other people, you go over the scene in your head, looking for a hidden meaning. If an unimportant comment exchanged at breakfast slides off you without hurting. Longing If, when someone close moves to live far away from you, missing them hurts. If you calmly consider spending time away from your partner. Readiness to change If what you have just described weighs on your daily life. If you want to change the way you function day to day.