Am I in an Emotional Affair? — Infidelity Test

This test covers attachment, secrecy, lying, comparison, the relationship, withdrawal, dialogue, affection, desire, support, boundaries, time, longing and readiness to change. What the test asks, for example Attachment If this attachment has taken on a place you would find hard to call just friendship. If receiving a message from this person gives you an emotion you no longer feel with your partner. Secrecy If you delete messages with this person that you would not want your partner to read. If this relationship is fully transparent with respect to your partner. Lying If you have lied to your partner, even by omission, about the nature or frequency of your exchanges with this person. If you have presented this relationship to your partner differently from what it really is. Comparison If you often compare this person to your partner, and not always in your partner's favor. If you find yourself comparing your relationship to what you experience with the other person. The relationship If you sometimes feel your primary relationship is no longer what it was since this person entered your life. If your relationship with your partner still feels as alive and engaged as before. Withdrawal If you sometimes find your partner's presence burdensome or unwelcome. If you are as emotionally available for your partner as you were before. Dialogue If you notice that you are avoiding certain topics or exchanges with your partner. If you feel less invested in your day-to-day relationship, in plans, conversation and presence. Affection If you share laughter, complicity or lightness with them that you no longer have with your partner. If your complicity with them resembles what you and your partner had at the beginning of your relationship. Desire If you feel less desire to be with your partner since this other person has started to matter to you. If your physical intimacy has changed since this other person has taken up space in your life. Support If you seek their emotional support in situations where you would naturally turn to your partner. If this relationship seems to nourish needs you can no longer meet with your partner. Boundaries If what you experience with this person encroaches on the emotional space you would reserve for your partner. If the place of this person in your inner life is clearly bounded and does not spill over into your relationship. Time If moments spent with this person have become anchor points in your week. If you send them messages in the morning, evening or at moments that were usually reserved for your partner. Longing If, when this person does not respond, you feel an expectation or worry you dare not analyze. If you look for opportunities to be with this person or to talk to them. Readiness to change If you want your situation to change. If you are ready to take concrete steps to clarify your situation.