Do I Have a Fear of Intimacy? — Relationship Test

This test covers avoidance, speaking your mind, support, shame, boundaries, withdrawal, affection, attachment, independence, identity, commitments, control, conflict and readiness to change. What the test asks, for example Avoidance If, when a conversation becomes too intimate, you want to change the subject or leave the room. If you stay comfortable when exchanges become personal. Speaking your mind If you find it hard to say that you need someone or that you miss them, even to someone who matters to you. If, when someone asks how you are really doing, you tend to minimize or change the subject. Support If you prefer to deal with your problems alone rather than talk to your partner about them. If you can receive emotional support from your partner without feeling diminished or indebted. Shame If crying in front of someone or showing emotion makes you very uncomfortable. If you manage to let yourself go in moments of emotional intimacy. Boundaries If, even with your partner, you keep a part of yourself shielded from the other person's gaze. If you feel better when you have a space of your own, physical or emotional, that your partner cannot invade. Withdrawal If physical distance from your partner, travel or days apart, sometimes brings you relief. If you can stay close without feeling the need to decompress or take distance regularly. Affection If you have sometimes avoided responding to genuine displays of affection because they made you uncomfortable. If you stay close after a moment of great intimacy. Attachment If, when someone truly starts to matter to you, you tend to shut down or pull away. If, when a relationship deepens, you let it take its course. Independence If the idea of being truly emotionally dependent on someone seems unacceptable to you. If you can trust your partner while still feeling like yourself. Identity If you are afraid that truly committing to a relationship will make you lose who you are. If you feel free in your current relationship, and being close does not erase who you are. Commitments If you could commit more if you were certain of remaining yourself within the relationship. If you can commit fully to a relationship without losing your sense of who you are. Control If you carefully watch whether your own desires or values are becoming too aligned with your partner's. If you sometimes feel you are protecting yourself by keeping a mental exit route in your relationships. Conflict If you have sometimes noticed that you provoke conflict just when the relationship was going really well. If you sometimes notice that you are testing your partner, to see whether they will really stay. Readiness to change If you want your situation to change. If you are ready to take concrete steps to explore your relationship with intimacy.