Monster Romance: Why Are We Attracted to the Monstrous?

Orcas, demons, vampires, werewolves, tentacled creatures... The monster romance phenomenon has exploded. On TikTok, the hashtag #monsterromance has racked up hundreds of millions of views. In bookstores, novels featuring love stories between human women and non-human creatures sell by the millions. And this isn't just a passing trend: it's a fascinating psychological phenomenon that says a great deal about our relationship with love, desire, and otherness.

In the article that follows, I explore attachment and how it shapes your relationships. If you recognise yourself in this theme, I designed an attachment style test that helps you take stock of your attachment style and its influence on your relationship. It comes with a guide to extend your reflection beyond the results. I also wrote a book on this subject, Understanding Your Attachment Style, if you would like to go further.

What Is Monster Romance?

Monster romance is a literary and cultural subgenre that features romantic (and often erotic) relationships between a human character and a fantastical creature: orc, dragon, demon, vampire, werewolf, alien, Lovecraftian entity, or any other form of "monster."

Unlike classic dark romance, which stages power dynamics between humans, monster romance pushes otherness to its extreme: the partner is literally not human. And that's precisely what captivates.

The phenomenon emerged massively through BookTok (TikTok's literary community) starting in 2023-2024, driven by authors like Ruby Dixon (Ice Planet Barbarians), Katee Robert, and Finley Fenn. By 2025-2026, it had become a genuine cultural movement.

Why Does It Work? The Psychological Analysis

1. Unconditional Acceptance

The monster, by definition, exists outside all social norms. It doesn't judge according to human criteria -- weight, appearance, social status, income. In these stories, the heroine is desired exactly as she is, without conditions.

In psychology, this fantasy directly addresses the need for unconditional acceptance theorized by Carl Rogers. Many readers report that these stories give them a sense of emotional safety they don't find in conventional romance.

"He doesn't compare me to anyone. He doesn't even know what human beauty standards are. He wants me, period." -- A common BookTok comment

2. Attachment and Bowlby's Theory

Attachment style plays a key role in the appeal of monster romance. People with anxious attachment -- who fear abandonment and constantly seek validation -- find in these stories a partner who can't leave them for "someone better" (there is no one comparable). Another option: Psy Lounge, to put this into words with a CBT-trained AI.

The monster represents a fantasized secure attachment: a powerful, protective figure, entirely devoted. It's the antithesis of the emotionally avoidant partner many women encounter in their real relationships. This is the subject I address in The Closer You Get, the More I Pull Away.

3. Taboo as a Space of Freedom

Psychoanalyst Esther Perel reminds us that desire needs transgression to sustain itself. Monster romance offers a space of total transgression -- without the real-life consequences of a toxic relationship.

It's a psychologically safe space to explore:

• The desire for submission without the risks of a real power dynamic
• Attraction to radical difference
• Fantasies that society deems "inappropriate"
• Curiosity about the unknown and absolute otherness

4. The Contrast with Relational Disappointments

The monster romance phenomenon emerges in a context of widespread relational fatigue. Dating apps, ghosting, breadcrumbing, situationships... Many women express exhaustion with human partners' behaviors.

The monster, paradoxically, is more reliable than the average human partner in these narratives:

• It communicates its intentions clearly (often bluntly)
• It doesn't ghost
• It doesn't play subtle power games
• Its devotion is total and non-negotiable

5. The Mirror Effect: What Does It Say About Our Relationships?

The popularity of monster romance reveals, in contrast, the relational shortcomings of our era:

Monster Romance and Mental Health: Should We Worry?

What's Healthy

• Exploring fantasies in a fictional setting is psychologically beneficial
• Reading romance (monster or otherwise) increases empathy and emotional understanding
• These stories allow people to name needs (safety, acceptance, passion) that they sometimes struggle to identify in real life
• The BookTok community creates social bonding and reduces isolation

What Deserves Attention

• If fiction becomes the only emotional refuge at the expense of real relationships
• If the standards set by fiction create chronic dissatisfaction with real partners
• If attraction to fictional power dynamics masks a repetition of toxic patterns (trauma bonding, emotional dependency)
• If consumption becomes compulsive and interferes with daily life

The Link with Attachment Styles

Recent research in psychology suggests a correlation between romantic literary preferences and attachment styles:

• Anxious attachment -- attraction to stories of absolute devotion, "fated mates" (destined soulmates)
• Avoidant attachment -- preference for narratives where the monster respects the heroine's independence
• Disorganized attachment -- attraction to chaotic dynamics, monstrous enemies-to-lovers

Understanding why certain narratives appeal to you can be a powerful self-knowledge tool. Your fictional preferences aren't insignificant -- they reflect your deep emotional needs. Take the Psy Test → — 60 questions, anonymous, PDF report.

Conclusion: The Monster as Revealer

Monster romance is neither a deviation nor a simple fad. It's a psychological and cultural phenomenon that highlights our fundamental relational needs: to be desired without conditions, protected without control, accepted without judgment.

If this genre speaks to you, ask yourself: what does the monster offer me that I can't find in my real relationships? The answer may be the starting point for deep reflection on your relational patterns.

And if you want to go further in understanding your relational dynamics, analyzing your conversations can reveal patterns you're unaware of -- no monsters, but the same honesty.

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Gildas Garrec, CBT practitioner -- Psychologie et Sérénité

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FAQ

Does enjoying monster romance mean something is wrong with my relationship?

Not at all, by itself. Reading romance, including the monster subgenre, is a normal leisure activity linked in research to increased empathy, not a symptom. It's worth a closer look only if the fiction becomes your only source of emotional safety, or if it leaves you chronically dissatisfied with a real partner who will never match an invented, infinitely devoted character.

Why am I drawn specifically to the "fated mates" trope?

"Fated mates" — the idea that two characters are destined for each other and cannot be separated — tends to resonate most with people carrying anxious attachment patterns, because it removes the fear that underlies anxious attachment: the fear of being replaceable. It's worth noticing as self-knowledge, not worrying about as a diagnosis.

Is it unhealthy to prefer fictional "monsters" to real men?

It becomes worth examining only if the preference functions as avoidance — if it's quietly replacing the effort of dealing with real, imperfect intimacy rather than coexisting alongside it. Ask yourself what the monster offers that you feel you can't find in reality (unconditional acceptance? clear communication? total devotion?); that answer points to a real need you can actually pursue in your relationships, fictional inspiration aside.